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Illuminated Site of the Week ArchivesHere is a list of ALL previous winners of the IllSotW:
December 3, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: Bared-Bones Conspiracy
Pay no attention to the people who say that evolution isn't real or that men once rode dinosaurs: David Wozney explains how the mighty lizards may never have existed at all in Dinosaurs: Science Or Science Fiction. Using everything from poor judgment to plaster casts, have paleontologists constructed in their own minds (and in several museum displays) flights of fancy that do a disservice to real science? Have carbon dating and fossil studies been a waste of precious decades? He even goes to the trouble of offering alternative theories about possible mentions of same in the Bible, should those be muddying the, uhm . . . historic? . . . waters for anyone. If true, it may represent one of the greatest conspiracy frauds ever perpetrated on mankind - certainly the biggest one built from chicken bones, anyway.
-- Suggested by Doctor Atlantis
September 17, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: Love Never Dies
To know the true meaning of love, the sort of affection between two people who will do anything for each other, one need only hear the touching story of Juliana and Benjamin. Many of us face tests in the early stages of a relationship, but their tale is one of perseverance, trust, and bravery. Something this undying inspires us all.
-- Suggested by Scott Slemmons
August 14, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: This Site May Change Your Mind
Though only figuratively . . . at this stage. Cyborgs aren't just the stuff of "Ah-nold's" films; they're happening here and now. Ever stopped to think your cellphone is the electronic equivalent of a crying, hungry child? Or that God is what happens when life maximizes its complexity? The learned folks at Cyborg Anthropology have. What else can you call it when people start sticking increasingly involved technological devices onto, or into, their bodies? You may expand your horizons, your definitions, or your disbelief, but you'll think differently about the computer you use to visit the site . . .
-- Andy
June 5, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: "These People Have The Brains Of Squid"
So said Dave Barry, but could that be a good thing? Ask the folks at Squid A Day. In a world where an octopus named Paul can call the sports winners, is it so hard to think our squishy brethren of the sea might know a whole lot that we don't? Their ink may heal or improve blood vessels, they get their eggs into space for research . . . Face it, however much fun we have with squid, dedicated and singleminded blogger Danna Staaf is having even more. -- Paul Chapman May 14, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: And Yet No One Says Anything About Their Cars
Yugoslavia has a rich and textured history. Part of that story has an until-recently hidden segment that's either inspiring or disturbing, depending on your viewpoint. Crack Two offers a page entitled 25 Abandoned Yugoslavia Monuments that look like they're from the Future. The capitalization is all theirs; the emotions are yours. Intended by Tito's communist regime to commemorate battles and concentration camps from the war, these may now be Places of Mystery, sites of great power, or just masterpieces in progress that simply scream for . . . whatever their message is.
-- Suggested by Pookie
May 7, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: Tekeli-Li, Tintin
Sure, Hergé's spunky hero had a good half-century run, but with a new mega-motion-capture movie coming up this year Tintin could use some new blood. The fresh slate of enemies should include some Lovecraftian horrors, according to Mythos artist Murray Groat. It's easy to conquer Antarctica when the ice doesn't buckle beneath your feet, boyo, but we're sure you don't go 50 years without learning a thing or two not found in the Necronomicon. Not if you want to be around for the sequel without Herbert West's help, at any rate. -- Suggested by Walter Croft April 29, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: Get Your Sheepskin At Fleece
Fleece University, that is. This generation teaches that one the elements of Discordianism, so long as they don't mind learning it at the hands . . . er, wings, of geese. They're still getting the golden apple rolling, but you can lay out on the quad, help the hsitory department by telling them "What just happened?", and buy books at the school store. Hmm. Some of these titles sound familiar. Why let others blow your mind when Fleece teaches you to do for yourself?
(Yes, they know geese don't provide fleece; Jiminy, you've got a lot to learn about Discordianism. If only there was a place - hey!)
-- Suggested by Colin
April 10, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: It Looked So Much Better On Paper
The next time the Department of Homeland Security wants to do a dry run to test everyone for disaster preparedness, they should see how they fare against zombies. Maybe you recall the paper from the University of Ottawa we featured in August of 2009 that explained the dynamics behind same, but that's just math on a page. Daniel W. Drezner, professor of international politics, knows whereof he speaks. Having little better to do at Tufts, he spells out his Theories of International Politics and Zombies. How would the governments of the world react to a massive outbreak of undead? We're guessing a lot of committees get formed, but we're not the go-to guys, are we?
-- Suggested by Ted Skirvin
March 1, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: It's In The Cards
The New World Order is rich, but the resistance isn't! That's why the ConspiracyCards.com "Awakening center" accepts donations and charges $7.95 for a pack of eight "factual Conspiracy Cards." If ever you find yourself unable to recall crucial elements of the Secret Masters' plans for domination, you can flip to the appropriate card in your reference library to see what They are up to. Mix 'em, match 'em, get 'em on CD. The creator was deported, but you can get this and many other playthings -- truth-based action figures, board games, statuettes -- at their website. They even have a gas-masked site model in a bikini. -- Suggested by Anders Starmark February 11, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: Millions Of Years Late And A Dollar Short
Some Christians believe dinosaurs and Man lived side by side for some time about 4,000 years ago, and we felt it was appropriate to give some time to another side of the discussion:
Some Jewish folks also believe dinosaurs and Man lived side by side for some time about 4,000 years ago.
Hope of Israel Ministries has a lot to say about the timeline, and their website rejects mainstream science's understanding of the flow of prehistory. Carbon dating takes a back seat to cave drawings, and broken pottery trumps the fossil record. No one mentions saddling a dinosaur and riding it into battle, but you just know all the cool kids were doing it.
-- Andy
January 21, 2011: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Truth Shall Set Your Teeth On Edge
Brother Veritus' Website is just that: the truth. He's sifted through a lot of information, and if you can penetrate his English (we must assume the Spanish half of the site is easier to absorb), you'll get a heaping helping of his philosophy. "The truth" seems to consist of inspirational sayings and pithy bons mots usually not found outside posters with cats on them. But you can find references to the Illuminati here and there, and more than one accusation that we're all sleeping, stupid, or both, so it seems appropriate to include it in your orientation package. -- Suggested by Anders September 11, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: Several Conspiracies, No Waiting
What are you afraid of? Hollywood's ubiquitous and corrupting influence? The hidden perils of organized religion? The secret plans your government has aligned against you? According to Advent of Deception, you need not fear any one of them . . . you should be terrified of all of them. Aliens seem friendly only because the movies make them come across sweet 'n' cuddly. Not only is mind control patented, they disguise it within high-definition television, a technology they've been working on since 1936. And if the Gulf oil spill and the death of most of the Polish government in a plane crash don't convince you the schemes extend beyond America's borders, well, there are movie reviews as well. With numerology.
"[D]ifferent piglets are rolling in the mud within the singular Illuminati Occult Pig Pen." Ew. If they're not careful, they might give people a poor impression of the New World Order.
-- Andy
September 3, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Doctors Will See Right Through You Now
If you thought a visit to the doctor was a scary thing, wait until you find out about all the stuff mainstream medicine hasn't been telling you. The Whale gives us the skinny on the vaccine "racket," the ease with which AIDS ought to be treated (it's the causes, you see, not the cures), and more on the dental conspiracy. To get invited to all the right parties, they also devote pages to the usual suspects: 9/11 theories, dowsing, orgone (they'll even sell you the orgonite), and more. Be warned, with all the shoptalk on disease, you can run across the occasional unpleasant picture on this site. But then, if you haven't got your health, what have you got?
-- Andy
August 13, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: Earth's Egocentric View Of The Universe
Science has been getting it all wrong. The Earth is the center of the universe and doesn't move (if it did, you'd feel the wind, wouldn't you?). It's not even worthwhile to debate with scientists who insist the Earth moves, because they're tools of a conspiracy, and not just any conspiracy, but a Satanic one. You had no idea, did you? The Moving-Earth DECEPTION!! site has large, easy-to-read type, and features explanatory illustrations such as a sheep, an ostrich, President Obama, the sun, Alice in Wonderland, and a pair of boxing gloves.
-- Suggested by Robert Hood
July 23, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: Here, Let Us Blow That Up For You
That headline may be more than a little unfair. Suffice it to say, we haven't mentioned the marvel that is the Large Hadron Collider before now, and it's time to rectify that. If you're a gamer, it's a good element to introduce if you'd like to promote time travel, massive explosions, dark matter, strange matter, and high technology. If you're a conspiracy theorist, it's an ill-conceived notion at best and an attack on mankind at worst. And if you're a science geek? Well, smashing particles into each other at nearly the speed of light just might unlock the secrets of the universe and revolutionize modern science. If you're into that sort of thing.
-- Andy
July 2, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: "Guns Don't Kill People . . ."
". . . it's those darn bullets. The guns just make them go really fast." So warned Jake Johannsen, but now you can strafe an entire office with an AK-47 and no one will buy the farm. (Mind, someone will still lose an eye.) Jack Streat has devised a functioning Lego assault rifle over at the MOCpages, complete with rounds, a magazine, a slide, the works. Now dawns a new age of warfare, in which bunker busters must be able to penetrate Lincoln Logs stacked eight deep. We hope. Until someone gets on that, YouTube has the video.
-- Suggested by J. Michael Looney
June 12, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: I Never Heard Of Any Such Game
The New World Order, the Illuminati -- it sounds like we wrote it. But no, it's ALL TRUE! It's a worldwide conspiracy involving identity and national resource cards, carbon footprints, and all the other devious machinations the Powers That Be employ to maintain a stranglehold on the Earth. And since it calls into question the activities of the Technocracy, the fine folks over at White Wolf must have had a hand in it, too, right? Anders Bruur Laurser, the author of the site Technocracy: Active, Ancient Satanistic Brotherhood, has been blogging about the evil Technocracy conspiracy. Commenters have pointed out that the Wikipedia article he cites is about a roleplaying game, but they haven't spoiled the fun. He now thinks it's got something to do with computers and calls it a "game-playing role," and he's still pretty sure it's all true even if a game company is involved. And, after all, he's on the Internet, so he has to be right.
We can't say it often enough: fnord!
-- Suggested by Jürgen Hubert
June 4, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: Axis & Allies & Aliens
Their biggest moment is more than six decades in the rearview mirror, but the Nazis continue to pester us . . . with air superiority, no less. The optimistically named Time Travel Research Center has collected a series of grainy photographs, old magazine sheets, and, apparently, 1970s rock album covers to determine just how dangerous the Nazis became when they went to ground. In the, uh, air. So did they get their data from aliens, or are reports of ETs really of unknown clutches of Nazis testing their secret projects into the modern world? The page peers at historical personages in the field, the various advancements in power and flight technologies, and the blueprints, should someone finally wise up and try to close the flying saucer gap.
-- Suggested by Eric Newsom
May 1, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Brackets Are Already Filled Because "They" Know Who's Going To Win
You've heard the phrase "American royalty," but do you know who they're talking about? Presidents, of course (and anyone Barbara Walters chooses to interview, but that's another enigma). Royal Presidents: Davidic Covenant Fulfilled in the United States lays it all out for you. Seems the Biblical King David was promised that one of his descendants would perpetually be on the throne of Israel, and somehow that piece of furniture has found its way to the Oval Office. Burke's Peerage has been choosing presidential winners for two centuries, and it's no accident it all comes down to how much royal blood runs through one's veins. Don't think there's really a family connection that links the presidents? Check the bottom of the page and see for yourself. Apology accepted.
-- Andy
April 24, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: Conspiracy The Uncovered
-- Suggested by Anders April 18, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: Weighty Matters
-- Suggested by Charles Oines April 11, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: They Should Have Kept The Name
The Wikipedia article says that it uses technology from the canceled DARPA WALRUS HULA airship. It's heartbreaking to think that something called WALRUS HULA could have been canceled, and we owe Aeroscraft a debt of gratitude for keeping the torch alight. Imagine the nose art. Just imagine. -- Suggested by Aaron Smith March 6, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: A World Of War-Crafting
Everyone already knows Lego bricks are great fun (at least, if you read the Daily Illuminator you already know it). Now turn a killer toy into killer fun with BrickArms. These folks have gone to entirely too much trouble to create customized weapons for your little soldiers - machine guns, bazookas, even a trusty bat. They have a couple of accessory parts that Lego really should have thought of already: the U-clip and the round minifig stand. They even offer entire custom minifigs . . . mustache-twirling villains and female sheriff's deputies. Get the weapons in different color sets. Get one weapon in multicolored glory. Get them in clear plastic. Give your tiny agent a briefcase with a tiny SMG in it. In fact, just get them, before the awesome overwhelms you. -- Suggested by Edward Elder February 26, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: . . . And Touch The Face Of God
At the very least you'll get a good gander at it. The cutting edge of neurotheology is the God helmet, a device that lets you peer at . . . well, it's not wholly clear whether you'll see God or Christ or something/someone else entirely. And isn't that the beauty of science? The uncertainty that at any moment you could tune to the wrong channel in a metaphysical sense and be spiritually assaulted by Xenu or touched by the noodly appendage of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Contact with demonic entities and a host of other paranormal experiences is possible when this thing goes to work on your grey matter. There are software upgrades, and if you have any questions about your attempts to contact supreme beings, they have technical support. -- Suggested by Michael Shermer February 5, 2010: Illuminated Site Of The Week: Look, On The Uptown Bus!
Been holding out for a hero? You and Bonnie Tyler both. The World Superhero Registry has a lot of promise, listing several heroes, active and retired. (If you're hoping to get help from one of them, you might want to enter them into your cell phone before you need them.) Several defenders of justice are recognized, but there are dozens of them pending or working their way up through the ranks (just in case you're a hero yourself and are in the market for a sidekick). No, we don't know anything about Doktor DiscorD, and there's no truth to the rumor that you never see him in the same room as SJ Games' staff. Honestly, how these things get started . . . -- Andy January 22, 2010: Illuminated Site Of The Week: We Have A Lot To Talk About
Human consciousness, soul transference . . . these might seem like confusing subjects, but that's only because you haven't been to Earthscape yet. At that point, they become utterly baffling. If you're feeling down or self-destructive, that's just someone else riding shotgun on your soul and forcing you into weird behavior. Learn to understand the oversoul and its components (a "master soul unit" and seven individual soul units). The site puts your mind at ease about things like bionics - the writers realize that stories of aliens and shadow governments cast an unfair pall over these topics - and besides, the new hardware only inhabits your ethereal self. January 8, 2010: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Name of the Game
Think you know games? To ring in the new year, Steelhead Studio had their usual party, but with an unusual party game; indeed, their game was all about everyone else's games. To celebrate the 100th birthday of their house, they had 100 cupcakes - 100 game-themed cupcakes. Their choices included video games, boardgames, traditional games . . . a bit of everything fun. This is your chance to show off. Get all these right and you might have a job lined up in the lucrative gaming industry. Or - who knows - the lucrative cupcake industry. -- Suggested by cliff December 13, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Something to Go On
"The toilet is a part of the history of human hygiene which is a critical chapter in the growth of human civilisation." So sayeth Bindeshwar Pathak, curator and founder of the Sulabh International Toilet Museum . . . and yet, creating an institution dedicated to that portion of our history would seem to be a step backward, wouldn't it? We'll skip the obvious jokes about the facilities available at the museum and simply hit some of the high points. One may read up on his paper on the topic (apparently there's more than one historical use for the phrase "bucket brigade"). He lists some of the highlights in the device's evolution (though really, does anything beat just having them around?). And then there's the unfortunately named Sulabh Movement (we just report, we don't judge), the books, the statistics. -- Andy November 27, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Here Are Your Instructions
Agent, uh . . . "jodi"? . . . agent jodi is back at it. We assume "back," because if this is his (her?) first mission, she's (they're?) thinking two or three steps ahead of the rest of us. It's a code. Or a map. Several maps, perhaps. It's kind of like a computer game from the late 80s, only without the instruction manual, or tech support, or a clearly defined goal. Regardless, it cannot go unanswered. The site: unintelligible. The task: uncertain. Your mission: Dude, don't drag us into this. November 14, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Sun Of A Gun
Remember Rob Cockerham? We mentioned him back in January of 2003. He's the guy who wanted to become the super-shopper by having an army of "cloned" superstore buyers' cards all linked back to him. Well, it turns out this guy doesn't have an "off" switch – he's always up to some prank or another. It all starts as good fun, but as the light sharpener project shows, eventually one goes mad with power. Now an evil super-genius, he turns his intellect to the task of destroying the world one stick of butter or can of cola at a time. See the many steps required to build such an awesome weapon, and tremble at the thought that if he ever figures out how to point it at the ground at midday, he can liquidate us all. October 31, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Real Estate Has Gone To Hell
The housing market is low - lower, in fact, than you think. Pandemonium Real Estate has listings for all the best properties in the Underworld. Want a lakeside view with a dock? Something overlooking the Styx? Don't wait to go to Hell before negotiating these things - order them now! And if you're convinced a loved one has one foot in the grave and another in perdition, it makes a lovely gift. They won't be able to enjoy the overly warm summer evenings on the veranda yet, but they'll receive a handsomely framed certficate informing them of their eternal reward. And anyway, no matter which side of mortality you're living on right now, you already know you're going to hate your neighbors. October 24, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Check The Website And See If It'll Eat You
The Cryptid Zoo: A Menagerie of Cryptozoology is quite a mouthful, but if you don't want to become a mouthful for some bizarre, unidentified entity you may wish to bookmark this site. (That way you can be eaten by an identified entity.) It's chock-full of fiendish and freakish animals that share our planet but never actually step into the daylight - or moonlight, depending on their feeding habits. It looks well researched if, uh, that's how one should approach this, and has plenty of outside sources and cross-referencing. Familiar (ahem) names like Bigfoot and Nessie stand beside (relatively) esoteric critters like bunyips, kangaroos, shug monkeys . . . the list goes on. -- Andy October 9, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Brass Ring Just May Grab You
We'd call them sculptures, but they look more like they were born than built. No, it's not some creepy statue that looks eerily alive, it's a series of creepy statues that look eerily like a steampunk engineer's scrapheap took on a life of its own and went for a job interview. Quirky, crazy, and perfectly mesmerizing, the works of Kezanti combine metal and mannequins, engines and optical fibers . . . some are for looking, some are for touching, and a few are even for locomotion. Harlan Ellison says, "Some days you ride the talent, some days the talent rides you." Trust Kezanti to straddle the metaphor. September 18, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Price Of Freedom is Eternal Frothing
Add The Vigilant Citizen to the list of those who Have Their Eye On Things. He (they?) track Conspiracy pawns like songstress Lady Gaga . . . in fact, a number of female pop singers show up on their radar. Apparently being vacuous is a tribute to mind control. (We are, as Dave Barry used to say, not making this up.) To be fair, there are guys who get the treatment, like, uhhh, Fred Flintstone? Okay, bad example. But there's hidden occultism in buildings everywhere, not to mention recent movies like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (beyond the reviews it got, that is), and (SURPRISE!!!) Dan Brown novels. They'll even list the top five worst 9/11 memorials just to keep you on your toes. August 29, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: They're Feeling No Pain
Can science create zombies? Well, not as far as YOU know. Can it explain zombies? Oh, absolutely, in all kinds of mutually contradictory ways. Can it describe the behavior of zombies in rigorous mathematical fashion? Well, that's the kind of question that could keep us all going for hours. August 14, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Take The Monoatomic Gold And See How Far The Rabbit Hole Goes
Alchemy gets an update for the new century: It now comes in powder and liquid forms. The Blue Emerald wants to usher you through the Membrane so you can see Truth as it truly is and not as part of the Faketrix, as the site settles on calling it. Eat the Truth, drink it, bathe in it if you have to . . . you paid a couple hundred for the three forms of "Activ8," so you get to make that call. And you'll do it through new eyes, once you've entered your Ultrabeing. August 13, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: ". . . 'Cause I Am Programmed to Take Care of You"
You like your robots, right? So do firefighters, if it means not getting blown up. No longer limited to bomb-disposal units, Man's mechanical offspring now assist London emergency responders. Tanks of gas pose special dangers even after a blaze, and QinetiQ offers a series of robots to help. BBC News has the story and the video. August 1, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Stonehenge Is So Last Millennium
Or rather, next millennium. Turns out it's not the oldest monument in that neighborhood by about a thousand years. Researchers at the Damerham Archaeology Project have discovered temples and tombs nearby, and they'll study them if they can get ploughs to stop rolling through there long enough to stick some stakes in the ground. Check out the story at the National Geographic Society; it's what all the hip kids are doing. Then again, we are coming to the party 6,000 years late. July 19, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Who Cares?
Everyone uses and abuses it, but does anyone ever think to ask the Internet for its opinion? No, too busy selfishly ego-surfing and what not. If you would know, go to whatdoestheinternetthink.net (their clunky nomenclature, not ours) and enter something into its search field. It then tells you roughly what the wired world's opinion is of the topic. Russell Crowe and Bigfoot are pretty popular, but then it's surprisingly enthusuastic about certain dictators, too. It loves character actor Richard Kiel, and still hates those hanging chads. Say, maybe it tells us it likes these things because it just wants to feel like it's a part of the crowd. July 10, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: "You Want to Get Out of Here, You Talk to Me"
"Me" being Karol Bartoszynski, Road Warrior fan extraordinaire. He and his leather-clad friends from Roadwar USA love the Mad Max post-apocalyptic film series. How much? Well, they decided to reenact the climactic chase scene from the second movie, with killer cars swarming down the road in an endless fight for "Juice." They trick out their vehicles, head out on the highway, and start surrounding a rented tanker truck. Sure, they like the usual convention panels and roundtables too, but this event offers something way special. "Special" occasionally being a code for "a night in jail" (the amazing thing being that it only happened once -- io9 has the story). -- Suggested by Jeremy Zauder July 8, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Mankind Fights Back
Last time we told you about the likelihood of giant armored spiders roaming the countryside (short recap: Oh, it's comin'), but that was Mother Nature's fault . . . with just a little help from our industrialized society. Sensing somehow (spider senses?) that Mankind was flirting with disaster, someone has answered the call. It turned out to be a Canadian named Jaimie, who's also going to have a giant armored spider as soon as he finishes building it. There's a whole lot of video here, but if you haven't the patience or the bandwidth for that you can cruise around and look at his other projects, including shots of the various injuries Jaimie has sustained in his quest to keep us at the top of the food chain. June 16, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Catches Tanks, Any Size
Still think global warming is just a liberal joke? Then perhaps you'd like to explain how funny it is that, thanks to this inexorable process, the Earth will soon face spiders the size of bank vaults, smart guy. Actually you don't have to: National Geographic has done it for you. They're paid to be all scientific and stuff, though, so for the real story, check The Register. The spiders, they're bigger, they're bulletproof, they're Danish . . . sure, they start small, but they grow up, people. They grow up. Also: Randy's Out There, Somewhere.Almost forgot: Randy's at Dragons Den Comics and Games tonight from 6-9pm, in Sioux Falls, SD! May 22, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: . . . And That Jonas Brothers Music Follows Me Everywhere
We know what you're thinking: Everything is a conspiracy. We know this because our spies report it back to us. But with Freedom From Covert Harassment and Surveillance, at least you know the early warning signs like alienated friends and a prickly sensation on your skin. You also discover the evasive value of wet blankets, hear instructional videos (find out if you are a "Manchurian candidate"), and get to join the class-action lawsuit. You know, these guys are asking for a lot of personal information . . . -- Andy May 15, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Art Imitates Lifeforms
If the purpose of art is to hold the mirror up to nature, the world must be one freaky-deaky place . . . at least according to artist Elisabeth Buecher. Most of her work is done with the intention of sparking environmental discussions. Some of it, like Stepparquet, is actually a bit practical, while other items are outright disturbing. And the cherry on the sundae? A few pieces allow your shower to attack you. And no, we don't have GURPS stats for that. Yet. May 9, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Their Mind Oeuvre Matters
Bad enough the economy is in the dumps; now we're having to import our news of weird happenings from overseas. The British Psychological Society's Research Digest blog tracks stories of just how amazing the human brain can be, especially when there's a screw or two rolling around loose. Ghostly self-images, stroke victims in denial, and people who speak in tongues are just a few of their fascinating case studies. Some of the stories are fine fodder for a GURPS Illuminati, Horror, or Psionic Powers game, but they're all good for pointing up that the greatest journey most of us can take is inside our own minds. May 1, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: "Search-And-Rescue" Missions . . . Riiight
It's mind control . . . if you call what a bug has a "mind." As if the oversized flower beetle wasn't imposing enough in its own right, it now frightens the world with a cybernetic hookup from the University of California and DARPA. Sure, they can "only" manage to make it go left, right, start, and stop, but with the potential to carry cameras and heat sensors, it's already in danger of becoming a bad "bug" pun in intelligence circles. Read all about the declassified bits in MIT's Technology Review. -- Suggested by Pascal Godbout April 25, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Open The Pod-Bay Doors With Brute Strength
Assuming it's not another movie publicity stunt, it looks like the real Cyberdyne in Japan is going to mass produce a mechanical exoskeleton that multiplies the user's strength. This device, affectionately called Robot Suit HAL, should allow compensation for physical ailments; extreme mountain climbing; and bit-parts in upcoming comic-book films. The company (the "leading edge of cybernics"?) is prepared to charge the princely sum of $4,200 American for their modern marvel, according to secondhand reports in h+ Magazine. April 17, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Please Allow Six To Eight Decades For Delivery
Someone's been leaving pyramids lying around all over the world like discarded lottery tickets. The planet's lousy with them, in fact, and Professor Robert Schoch thinks he knows who's at fault. Like a tribe of seafaring Johnny Appleseeds, a mysterious group of primordial masons has been all over the world depositing these monolithic wonders at each stop. If his books don't sate the appetite for knowledge, take one of the professor's courses at Boston University. April 11, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Only People You Can Depend On Are You
Burt Goldman has discovered the means to self-discovery and personal improvement: He asks himself what he would do. No, not in the sense of introverted examination . . . he actually goes to one of the universes next door and talks to his alternate-world selves. That's how he learned to sing and paint, among other things. One can only wonder what his alternate selves came here to learn from him. He's offering a few lessons on Quantum Jumping for free. No word on when WWBGD? T-shirts will be made available; presumably he's the only one who would buy them. If no one buys into his story, no worries. Burt still has that American Monk gig to fall back on. -- Suggested by Anders Starmark April 3, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: A Little Help?
Warehouse 23 is endless, or so rumor has it. So what is The SCP Foundation? The same thing? Another branch? A competitor? A clever disinformation campaign? Some or all of the above? You could . . . ring the doorbell and ask. What could go wrong? -- Suggested by Michael Hahn March 20, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Unreal Deal
Reverend Bob Larson, who appeared in the four-episode TV series The Real Exorcist, doesn't have to come to you to help you with your personal case of demonic possession - he can send you his material on DVD. Hold on . . . almost three days worth of viewing? Forget it, just take the 21-question Do You Have A Demon? quiz at his site.
March 13, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Who You Gonna Call?
If your house is infested with demons, the Paranormal Clergy Institute, an offshoot of the Catholic Church, warns you not to take them on yourself . . . that is, unless you've taken their courses. They're all free, unless you want to buy Bishop Long's book. The team can't stress the perils enough, even on their radio show where they promise "fun times and great entertainment!" Kind of makes you feel sorry for the demons. -- Suggested by Rob Lusteck February 27, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: Podcast People
What started as a series of articles looks to have become a podcast about conspiracies and skepticism. Karl Mamer, The Conspiracy Skeptic, invites folks from his growing list of skeptics to expound on what the blazes is going on. The first mystery: Why are the shows and articles listed oldest to newest? The roots go deeper than anyone suspected. -- Suggested by Anders Starmark February 20, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: When Is The County Going To Install Those Potholes?
Zack Anderson and his team at MIT have created a shock absorber that not only cushions a car ride, it derives power from any bumps and jolts along the way. This isn't as practical as, say, his Warcart or the automated party machine, but it did get a disproportionate amount of press from Tech Fragments. February 8, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: You Thought Magnetic Tape Was Slow
Michael Wright, a former curator at the Science Museum in London and now at Imperial College, has built a replica of the Antikythera mechanism. (Remember it? We mentioned it in the January 5th, 2007 Site of the Week about two years ago. Do not be alarmed.) And he cranked it up and turned it on. And it works. No word yet on when we can expect it to achieve sentience and subvert mankind. But it's coming. Wired has the story. January 30, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: What's Taking So Long?
It's Real Snail Mail. No, not a quaint modern quip or a wry observation about obsolete societal infrastructure. It's mail, delivered by snails, the semi-squishy critters in your garden. Boredom Research has found a way to harness the underwhelming power of the snail and use it to forward your missives, employing more technology than should really be dedicated to an aquarium full of gastropods. Yet . . . the mail gets through! January 24, 2009: Illuminated Site of the Week: When You Glow, You Can Always Find Your Way
The seas north of Russia are cold, inhospitable, and isolated. Night reigns 100 days out of every year, but before the invention of GPS, someone had to show ships the way lest they crash upon the jagged rocks. So who ran the lighthouses? No one. The Russians installed a few nuclear generators and left them running. They've stopped now . . . stopped performing as lighthouses, anyway. They still pump out plenty of wattage for anyone who cares to loot, get irradiated, and mutate the local wildlife. -- Suggested by Stefan Jones December 5, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Toy Safety
The cutting edge of security is now made of Lego. They say you can keep all your valuables protected inside this safe because it has billions of combinations and an alarm-equipped motion sensor. November 23, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Cuttin' And Scratchin' Are Aspects Of Their Game
Ever played one of those games where you try to out-Google each other, coming up with a word combination that appears most often in a search engine? Now you've got musical and video accompaniment as DJ Battle adds imagery to an animated DJ-bot based on your choices. -- Suggested by Gavin Coughlan October 18, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Pole Positions
Nothing good explodes out from under the polar ice caps, and make no mistake, when the members of the International Polar Year program go in search of knowledge, it will explode. Have they never read Don A. Stuart or H.P. Lovecraft? Ignore these initials at your peril. We were particularly taken with the notion that they're going to delve for dirt on the buried Gamburtsev mountain range, also called the "ghost peaks." The BBC has the story. September 27, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: That'll Come In Handy
When you're lost on some isolated country road, your biggest concern shouldn't be the embarrassment of asking for directions - it should be whether you'll run afoul of a cult looking for new members. To mount an effective resistance, bookmark Apologetics Index, your one-stop shop for fighting mind control. Since they'll probably take away your Internet access, you'll want to order a book or two. The cult won't be expecting you to go analog. -- Andy September 8, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: It's The Size Of The Fight In The Dog
-- Suggested by Freya September 5, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Actual Falsehoods
It's been observed that if you go to Wikipedia for your "facts," you're relying on the argumentative members of the general public to get things right. The beauty of The Arcana Wiki is that you're getting information about stuff that's already not real. The site is building up a storehouse of fantastic, unknown, or just plain entertaining information about people, places, and things. Some of these are imaginary, but there's real stuff, too - it just gets steeped in legend or boiled down to the most amusing bits. Use it for everything from writing fiction to developing your RPG campaign, and hey, you can even help write more of it. Just try to get your facts straight, okay? Otherwise people have to use Arcana's links back to Wikipedia and the irony might kill someone. August 29, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Kind Of Redundant, Isn't It?
Unexplained Mysteries are the best kind. This site offers snippets of all that is enigmatic in the world, and lets visitors talk about it at the forums. Einstein's theories, ape "planning," and lawsuits between the Knights Templar and the pope . . . okay, so maybe some of this can be explained, but it should be an entertaining story regardless. August 15, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Map Is The Make-Believe Territory
-- Suggested by Kira August 9, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Let The Sun Shine
Daniel G. Nocera, professor of energy and chemistry at MIT, may have found an efficient way to store all the solar energy that we gather before the sun goes down. He can tell you about "time-resolved spectroscopies (from femtoseconds to milliseconds)," or you could read the somewhat more accessible story in the MIT news. -- Suggested by Ed Elder
August 1, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Really Popular Art
Maybe you don't know much about art, but you can find out what you like. In fact, you can find out what everyone likes, and what they don't. The Komar and Melamid Homepage lists the results of its intensive look at what makes people tick when viewing art, with information fed to them from around the globe. Want to know how your tastes stack up against Turkey? Is there really some sort of commonality about what's good? -- Ed Elder
July 25, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Dig This
Wiltshire is ready to give up its secrets. Long have people wondered about its mysterious site: Who built it? What is its purpose? What power lies beneath the unsuspecting populace's feet?Huh? Stonehenge? No, not that pile of rocks. The secret underground city built by the Ministry of Defence for the benefit of government officials. An entire city with miles of roads awaits. An ancient calendar? Pfft . . . can it support 4,000 people? No, we didn't think so. -- Suggested by Shawn Fisher
July 20, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Oh, Wait, You're Serious?
Well, this time, yeah. A lot of folks show off their technological, uhhh . . . we'll call them "innovations" . . . on the Internet, but occasionally it turns out someone's actually doing something that doesn't require timecubes or free energy or wombat blood. The Daily Ill has featured Sandia National Labs here and there for things that caught our fancy, but if you cast a wider net you see it's high time they were recognized for their bionic contact lenses, or their neutron scatter camera, or their lightweight, high-caliber, self-propelled cannon system, or . . .You know, on second thought, you could just get a job there. That'd be easier. -- Suggested by John Evans
July 11, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Knock, Knock
We already showed you Entrances to Hell, a cautionary tale for those readers surrounded by the infernal in the UK, but if you're willing to travel further afield you'll find Darvaz has a door of its own. This passage in Russia leads straight to you-know-where, but it has something other portals don't: video. -- Suggested by Eric Newsom
July 5, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Someone Had To Commission It
We may be building it, dreading it, or trying to prevent it, but Dezeen architecture and design magazine finds it cool and so should you. Whether anticipating the coming ecological disasters or trying to get above them, there's wonder and mystery to be had. And it won't hurt to make friends with one of the visionaries involved. Hey, that animal has another animal on its snout. -- Suggested by Tori Bergquist
June 27, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: And A Side Order Of "Huh?"
If you seek the answers, find Truth & Revelations, but bring a pocket calculator. You may not have to show all work, but the answers seem to be focused on numbers. Unlike many sites that delve into the deep questions, this one is pretty clean and skimps on the graphics. Very much like those sites, it skimps on grammar and spelling. But hey, non-profits have to cut costs somewhere, and subtracting those language arts lessons probably adds up to savings. -- Suggested by gido
June 20, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Who's Gonna Clean Up This Mess?
The least an alien can do if he's going to kidnap hapless humans for bizarre experiments is have the decency to put them back where he found them once he's done with them. Should the abductors prove to be a bit absent-minded, a little reminder is in order. The Location Earth Dog Tags display graphical and mathematical information that remind one's host which planet he got these latest specimens from. -- Suggested by Freya
June 13, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Mail Man Of God
The end-time is going to be inconvenient in so many ways, not least because the postal service is going to blow (unless your mail carrier practices, say, Shintoism). The Post-Rapture Post is a surefire way to see that anyone you love who, sadly, did not accept Christ as his personal Lord and Savior, knows how you feel once you've ascended into Heaven. These nice, atheistic folks see that your letter is delivered. It seems premature to have testimonials at the site, but these people seem pretty pleased with the service so far. -- Suggested by Marcus Rowland
June 6, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: See A Penny, Pick It Up . . .
. . . the rest of the day, you'll have good luck. Or the first of the almost two trillion cents you'll need to fill the Empire State Building. Love them or hate them, pennies are everywhere (which seems to be why people love them or hate them), and The Megapenny Project tries to give a sense of scale to the little copper nuisances with a series of abstract exercises. Ostensibly a lesson for kids and math fans, it's another of those "What if" illustrations that may have less to do with science than it does with wish fulfillment. Go on - pretend you haven't wondered what all the pennies look like. -- Suggested by Rev. Pee Kitty
May 30, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Captain Goes Down With His Real Estate
Freedom Ship - the City at Sea is like something out of a movie. It promises a chance to live life on a floating town (kind of like Waterworld), with all the amenities in a self-contained community (kind of like Shivers), headed to exotic ports of call (like Titanic). Come to think of it, most of the films it calls up . . . well, it sounds like a cool idea anyway. Just the sort of innovation you want from a man running for president in his spare time. -- Suggested by Alex Ackerly
May 27, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Yes, And You Just Keep Going On About It
The Perpetual Motion Generator is not to be toyed with, just built in your garage. Treat the technology with kid gloves - the author has generously decided to reconstruct his device, having destroyed the original when he considered the effect on the economy of the Middle East. Watch for salty language and pockets of free energy. -- Suggested by Tiago Hackbarth
May 17, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: He Was Never Here, He Did Not Sign Your Book
There has to be a go-to guy for the worldwide conspiracy, someone the regular Joes can talk to without all that initiation and chanting, right? It's probably Trevor Paglen, though that's all you're gettin' out of him or us. He spends a lot of time dissecting renditions, secret operations, and the symbology so favored by special forces. Don't blame us if you disappear for the sake of a potential best-seller. -- Suggested by DryaUnda
May 9, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Early To Bed, Early To Die
It's not enough the world has things keeping you awake at night and a plethora of items to plague your dreams, now they're getting you in that space between waking and sleeping. The Sleep Invaders are, according to this site, malevolent entities that want . . . uh, well the site isn't really clear on what they want. That must be why they offer you the book; it has all the answers. Could be another fly-by-night operation, assigning all the woes of life to otherworldly critters, but that's one spooky - and surprisingly well-produced - video. -- Suggested by Kim Bernard
May 4, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Because No One Knows What A Foon Is
A spork, if you've ever been to a greasy fast-food joint for lunch, is a combination fork and spoon. Not just useful for eating fried meals, the revolutionary Battlespork helps with dental hygiene. It stops diseases in their tracks. It's a utensil and a razor and . . . okay, that's enough now. -- Suggested by Tony Hitchens
April 25, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Never Infringe On Someone Who Has Nukes
It is not recommended you attempt to recreate any part of the country's nuclear arsenal. Why? Because you'll bring down the full wrath of the patent office. Alex Wellerstein points out that the United States tried for a lot of Atomic Patents while working on the Manahattan Project. Bad enough to be tagged for stealing state secrets, but pirating the technology is just uncalled for. Remember, those before you have already built these things. -- Suggested by Ed Elder
April 18, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Old Books Best To Read, Old Wine Best To Drink
The Secret Masters really have it in for you. Mind-altering drugs have undisciplined effects, torture is inefficient, and the orbital mind-control lasers sport a power bill that will make your head swim. (Ahem.) The solution? Nostalgia by the bucket. Retro Thing is one of those sites that grabs hold of you, fires your imagination, and refuses to let you go. Days later, you realize you forgot about the wedding and have in all likelihood been unemployed for over a week. Board games, computer consoles, books, movies, comics, fashions . . . they're not old, they're retro. Ooo, Micronauts. April 12, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Data, Data, Data, I Cannot Make Bricks Without Clay
A lot of these sites tell you they'll help you see past society's hooey, but at Cutting Through the Matrix with Alan Watt, they take their time. He lists his three book titles, and that's about all the direct information you get until you work your way past the ads. After that, you can download audio recordings of his appearances and slowly build up a picture of where he's coming from. It's hard to say whether he's working with or against the Masons, but he draws the line at Reptile People. Let's not get nutty. -- Suggested by j.
April 4, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: They Laughed At You At The University
And in grade school. And at the church picnic. And when you broke into the Museum of Natural History to attack the Early Man exhibit. If you're not careful, they're going to continue delighting themselves thusly at your predicament right up until you fail the HPLHS SaniTest; then it's straight into the hatch with you. See how you stack up against other crazy people . . . which, according to the site, is something of a redundancy. -- Suggested by Janx
March 28, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Okay, You Can Start Doomsday Now
The Svalbard Global Seed Vault is up and running. It's everyone's answer to the potentially disastrous loss of food sources throughout the world (though Norway is picking up the tab). All anyone has to do is put a healthy sampling of seeds for major crops therein and they'll be safe in case some plague withers eveything on the vine (until the Nazis hiding out in the Arctic catch wind of this, anyway). Hurry, this space is going fast. It's expected to be filled within the next three generations, so reserve your space now. Sadly, this bank probably still closes after four o'clock. -- Suggested by Walter Schirmacher
March 21, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Aw, You Can Use Facts To Prove Anything
Years of movies and conspiracy theories have taught us the obvious, that if you want to protect your brainwaves you need a tinfoil beanie. But On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study would have us believe folks at MIT have done experiments proving this isn't the case. Hmm . . . then again, they have a lot of "equipment" and use "science," so maybe we'd better hear what they have to say. -- Suggested by Digo Rodriguez
March 15, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Who's Going To Clean Up All This Science?
They call it the Implosion Group on Dan Winter's Fractal Science, but it's more like an explosion - there's stuff all over the site, literally. It looks like a digital monkey has been flinging virtual data poo at your screen. If you're made of stern stuff, though, you can find how to measure empathy and radiate immortality. Light, the site suggests, comes to know itself when folded backward, like some sort of time-traveling cocktail party, so you know Mr. Winter must be great fun at a college kegger. -- Suggested by syberghost
March 7, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: With Tiny Little "Ka-Chunk Ka-Chunk" Noises
Here's your obligatory link to the dependable GURPS Steampunk. You're going to want that after touring Crabfu SteamWorks, a collection of devices that never were but really ought to be. (When's science gonna get on that, by the way?) See pictures, get dimensions, find out how they were built, and view movies with them in operation. For a site about toys, this is pretty serious business. -- Suggested by Freya
March 1, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Fruit Flies Like A Banana
The mind of the artist is an unfathomable animal, but it's not hard to see why someone would want to establish a geostationary banana over Texas. Come on, it would be a banana, after all, flying in the sky over Texas. Not in space, mind you . . . show an ounce of reason. But a high-tech blimp on automatic? Kennedy would have been proud.Of course, it could just be a magnificent hoax, but let us hope with all our hearts that it is not. -- Suggested by Jon Glenn
February 23, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Graduates, You Are At A Crossroads
A moral crossroads, where you must decide: Can you get away with lying about your higher education? Heck, if all those celebrities can get an "honorary degree," why shouldn't you be able to lay it on a little thick about your salad days at Impressive Pillars University? The International Association of Fake Universities will back you up on your story, generating a fake diploma to polish up that resume. -- Suggested by Susan Rati Lane
February 16, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: WWJA?
Who's going to warn you of incoming attacks? Who can you count on to keep the peace? Who has your best interests at heart? No, not Dick Cheney. Even better, it's Threat Alert Jesus. Like a weather radio for the War on Terror, he's linked into the Department of Homeland Security and he'll tell you when the threat level has been updated. His halo even changes to fit the current color. -- Suggested by Erik Wilson and John Walchak
February 9, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Flying Spaghetti Monster Is Within You!
Or he will be, if you follow these great instructions for creating edible googly-eyes and going on from there to Flying Spaghetti Monster Cookies. Great for the next meeting of your Discordian cabal, church group, or school board.
-- Suggested by Marcus L. Rowland
February 1, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: An Infinite Number Of Humans
"Oh. Well, then stop." So sayeth the Goddess in Her wisdom, but why do we do the things we do to each other? David Wong thinks he knows, and he shares his thoughts at the rather adult but nevertheless hysterical Inside the Monkeysphere. There's something truly profound in his essay, which raises the question: Why is he working in anonymity on the Internet? He must not travel in our circles. Humph. -- Suggested by Chuck McGriff
January 26, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: When Leet-Speak Makes Too Much Sense
The ET Corn Gods Game is based on the claim of a meeting between an alien and an engineer. The visitor told of hidden messages throughout the English language, and the Code involves alphanumeric values, the periodic table, and the Bible (so anyone wanting to play has some serious homework ahead of him). The results are as entertaining as they are baffling. Those into word games will love it; those who just want to speak the English language without dissecting it will be tearing their hair out. Are they serious? Hard to tell, but it's an epic expenditure of spare time either way. -- Suggested by Dan Rice
January 19, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: 16,000 Joules On The Barbie
The behavior of engineers in Australia is nothing short of shocking. Tesla Down Under shows off a lot of experiments with liquid oxygen and lasers and what have you, but most of the site is given over to electricity. Some of the displays are tongue-in-cheek (like the anti-theft car device), but much of this stuff rises to the level of art . . . art that uses enough juice to send Marty McFly through time. See the stunning photos, watch the breath-taking video, and give thanks you don't live on this fellow's street. -- Suggested by John
January 11, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Don't Believe Everything You Write
If you didn't know, the world is going to end in 2012 (according to the Mayan calendar, anyway), so plan your vacation accordingly. If you were aware of this but just wanted more information about humanity's big finish, you couldn't ask for a more comprehensive page than Beyond 2012. Don't get too excited, though, because the page's owner examines these reports looking for evidence of a hoax.Wait . . . debunking? Can he do that? -- Suggested by David Cunnius
January 8, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Make A Joyful ---*
Those New Zealanders really know how to pamper a mutt. The Auckland SPCA is offering a CD for your canine pal, a series of songs at such a high pitch only he can hear it. Enjoy the accompanying video . . . the visual part of it anyway, unless you eat breakfast out of a bowl on the floor. Those funny looks Fido is giving you are just bemused delight, not something else encoded on the disc. Go about your two-legged business. -- Suggested by Lisa J. Steele
January 4, 2008: Illuminated Site of the Week: Let There Be Light Speed
You may be done with the Bible Code, but it's not done with you. Revelation13.net offers pages (and pages and pages . . . ) of material about the secrets the Good Book conceals, from sacred prophecy to Scott Peterson, from Ebola to cold fusion. The author isn't shy about his Amazon.com sponsors, and offers unexpected gems of insight like:"If there is a third bright comet in year 2007-2010, I would not be surprised if it is red in color."It's like having hundreds of books in one. -- Andy
December 29, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: A Very Dagon Christmas
It's just as well that Yule is over; even as a last-minute gift, the Innsmouth Look leaves a lot to be desired. That's not to say it isn't a source of Christmas spirit, though. It even has its own holiday video. But where most YouTube movies are dull or amateurish or both, It's Beginning to Look Alot Like Fishmen is neither (well, excepting the typo in the title). -- Suggested by Erik Wilson
December 7, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: You Need A Tower Just To Store All The Theories
There's a lot yet to uncover in this fascinating world. The computer game Second Life is a mask for the Illuminati. Perennial favorite Dungeons & Dragons has been "upgraded" to a computer game to work its evil in a technological society. The number 23 is working several shifts for everyone from the Twin Towers to Oprah. And all that was just the beginning of the year. BluePrint of Babylon Exposed shows that if you have nothing better to do, you can find occult significance in just about any number (check out especially the "proof" that binary 666 is "really" 1111). This site will give the modern conspiracy theorist every excuse he needs to keep the tinfoil beanie on for years to come. -- Suggested by Jeremy Zauder
November 30, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Ecretsay Odescay
Human history is written in encoded messages . . . at least, that's what our Captain Midnight secret decoder rings reveal to us. See how they did it in an age of analog (from 1917 on, anyway) at Cipher Machines & Cryptology, refreshingly free as it is of annoying substitution ciphers. -- Suggested by Dirk Rijmenants
November 23, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Pi A La Mode
They say math and music are two sides of the same coin, and never was that more true than when YTMND puts pi to song. Turn down your speakers until you know just how firmly you want the classroom rhythm to grab you. -- Suggested by Kuranes
November 16, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: So When Does The Patent Run Out?You can stop trying to invent time travel. It's been done. Or it will have been done. But since it's here now, in the past, our present, they could probably erase anyone who tries to take credit for their undiscovered equipment. Chronos Technologies, Inc., established 2105, is on the cutting edge with time gates and what-have-you. Their finances can't all depend on taking advantage of the ponies, so don't forget to visit the gift shop. -- Andy
November 10, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: What Are You Afraid Of?
What are the odds that you'll die in a car crash, a terrorist attack, a house invasion? Will your identity be stolen? Schneier.com has the musings, articles, and blog of security expert Bruce Schneier. He even shows a grudging admiration for some of the plots people come up with to fool, irritate, and rob the innocent. His message could be boiled down to "You're afraid of the wrong things. -- Suggested by Richard Thomas
October 26, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Micro-Escalation
It's somehow poetic to see a cross-pollination of ideas when you're constructing mechanical insects. If you remember Berkeley's robofly, you'll be pleased to know their colleagues - like Professor Robert Wood - at Harvard have managed to develop their own fabrication process to solve some of the trickier problems involved. MIT's Technology Review has the story. Look for the results during a private meeting near you. -- Suggested by Loren Wiseman
October 19, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: I Can Haz Internet Hitz?
If you're one of those sorts who, confronted with the darling kitty memes of Lolcats, thinks cat fanciers need to get a life, Lolthulhu is the outlet for your geek superiority complex. Risk your sanity and you may find some amusement in their growing library of photoshopped freak exhibits. Some of the stuff is funny, and some brushes close to adult material, so get permission from your Mythos investigator before entering that address. -- From multiple suggestions
October 12, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: . . . Lest We Look Like Tookish Fools
Dungeons & Dragons and The Lord of the Rings: They just go together. Actually, when you look at Shamus Young's Twenty Sided, you realize nothing could be further from the truth. It's been too long, and the bloodlines have become corrupted. -- Suggested by Niels Ull HarremoÄs
October 5, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Mad Science Is In The Genes
Want kids to join you in your love of all things geek? Get the tykes started with their own magnetic gauss gun. Still have time left in your Saturday afternoon? The mother site, Science Toys, offers them the chance to build solar-powered hotdog grills and stuff. The site isn't all weapons and military domination (just the good parts). Wait . . . a magnetic ring launcher? That's even better than the rocket. Well, almost. -- Suggested by John Guin
September 28, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: No Blood For Evian
Drag yourself into the 21st century. According to the Water-Powered Car website, all our internal combustion technology is based on outmoded ideas from the time of Faraday. You've heard about vehicles that run on steam or H20, but the waters run deeper than that. We'd tell you about the 9/11 plot, the oil companies, and the Department of Energy, but you can probably work most of that out for yourself. -- Andy
September 22, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Coin Of The Realm
Nothing kills a vacation to the South Pole faster than hitting a snag with the exchange rate at the bank or customs office. No longer need visitors fear this, as Antarctica now has its own currency. Dream Dollars shows off the new coin for the way-down-under wayfarer. There's also some information about lucid dreaming, presumably in case you end up freezing and hallucinating in a snow bank. But at least you'll never short-change the penguins again. -- Suggested by Matt
September 17, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Flivvers To Set Your Heart Aflutter
If there were such a thing, the wondrous world of Steampunk would be well represented by Brass Goggles, a combination blog and resource for all things steam-tech. It could almost be said it's too much steampunk.If there were such a thing.
-- Suggested by Conrad Noche
September 7, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: A Little Learning Is A Dangerous Thing
People scoff when someone cites Wikipedia as a resource; who wants to trust important matters to a freely editable document that depends on average people to nail down the truth? But in the fight against the Lovecraft Mythos, any intelligence is useful. Hie thee to the Uncyclopedia article on Great Cthulhu. When are the end times? What can be done? Can the evil be stopped? What does the Great Old One like to drink? Hint: It ain't seawater. -- Suggested by CthulhuBob Lovely
August 31, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: As Below, Not Above
If you like sites dedicated to weird things like aliens and the supernatural, half your ship has come in. Obiwan's UFO-Free Paranormal Page wants you to share your bizarre stories of visits from beyond the grave, snapshots, and nothing in the way of UFOlogy (they admit spacecraft could be responsible for some sightings, they just don't want to talk about it). Beware the links that take you back to where you started; it's all just a ghostly glamor. -- Andy
August 25, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: The All-You-Can-Banish Buffet
You thought they were secret masters, but it turns out the Illuminati are just tasty snacks. At Supernatural Spirit, Psi-Lord Tim Rifat offers to eliminate (and "shred"!) any and all kinds of weird beings, from aliens to cryptozoids. His prices are reasonable (current special: spend $600 and Soul Rescue is free) - but if he consumes the psi energy of the things he kills, should he be charging you at all? After all, you just bought him lunch. -- Suggested by lilith
August 18, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Science Ain't Pretty
The Leading Edge International Research Group is so far out ahead it's hard to see where they're coming from . . . er, so to speak. Some of their content is pumped in from other websites, some of it is original, and all of it is baffling. A haphazard clearinghouse for everything from air traffic to orbital traffic, from an analytical chronology of fluoridation to the astrology of history, you can find just about anything. Must mean truth is in there somewhere, too, right? -- Suggested by observer
August 11, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: When Slide Rules Ruled The Earth
History is worth preserving, as are the tools that took us there. So says the Oughtred Society, dedicated to the celebration of calculating devices (though it all looks like slide rules from here). Meet with others who share that sense of nostalgia, find manuals like "the long awaited K&E Salisbury Products Division Slide Rules," and get answers to burning questions. Sorry, kids, the one question they don't answer is "What's a slide rule?" -- Suggested by Bob Portnell
August 3, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: It Comes With Superstrings Attached
Once you've got the Unified Field, what do you do with it? Give total consciousness to your students, of course. Maharishi Central University promises a new age of enlightened peace and understanding on their campus, to be built at the exact center of the United States. Sound too good to be true? Well, if it was a scam, there'd be contact info for someone other than the professors . . . right? -- Suggested by William J. Keith
July 20, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Kids, Don't Try This At Home
If you're tired of getting sand kicked in your face, give yourself over to Berzerker - Viking Fighting Arts. Learn to spear, spike, hit, scream, and slam like the Norsemen. Can't make the seminars? Buy the DVDs. Can't afford the DVDs? May we shamelessly suggest GURPS Vikings? We're "crazy" about them, too. -- Suggested by TheOneTrueSpongeOfDoom
July 15, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Numbers Go Round And Round
Is it really illuminated, or just really pretty? Visit NumberSpiral.com to see the numbers rolled up into bigger and bigger patterns. The text becomes more impenetrable with every page, but the accompanying illustrations look like they might . . . mean . . . something . . . -- Suggested by lilith
July 6, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Snakes . . . Why'd It Have To Be Snakes?
Aliens and UFO Art is an odd thing to call your site when your contention seems to be that the artwork actually serves to reveal a sinister alien side to your subjects. People in the highest echelons of power hide their true origins, and some websites one views at one's peril. Some are still infested with snakes, helping to keep the influence brokers on the top of the food chain. Even worse, it looks like Gurdjieff was right about Santa.Huh? -- Suggested by syberghost
June 29, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: There's No Such Thing As Bad Publicity
Why else would there be over a dozen stories a week at Signs of Witness about the end of the world? They have a couple of years of this stuff, and the site was updated as this was being posted. Rapid-fire disasters litter the newsfeed: Deserts swell, deities give up, those stingray attacks are no fluke, and if you get the date wrong for the endtimes it's an offense that'll get you arrested. At least you won't languish in jail for long . . . -- Suggested by The Church of the SubGenius
June 22, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: It Must Be Something In The Air
Not to be confused with BBC Radio, BBS Radio is an on-line radio webcast; in fact, it's a few of them. They offer five channels, some of which are music and some of which are . . . not. Missing Art Bell? Coast to Coast AM not long enough for you? The same subjects get the business on the BBS, and they're on most of the day on the West Coast (adjust for your time zone as necessary). Herbal therapy, mind expansion, and Voice of the Ashtar Command. There are a lot of frustrating dead-ends on the site, but that's where new consciousness comes in. -- Suggested by Gerard
June 15, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Spirit Of Scientific Inquiry
Sparing you the Ghostbusters quips . . . If you have a problem at home or work with spooks and ghosts, Orion Paranormal is ready to step in and help. They employ everyone from poets and organic chemists to professional tarot readers, just to cover all the bases. Their assistance is free, and not limited to shades if you have something more interesting to offer (say, demons). And if you'd like to BE a professional paranormal investigator, they're recruiting! -- Suggested by Mike Krozy
June 2, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: And The Lord Synthesized Saying . . .
Today's lesson comes from the book of Turing 1:19-32. Artificial Intelligence from the Bible! The title really says it all (they brought their own exclamation point), but to whet your appetite: The seven churches set forth in Revelation correspond to sections of the brain. The Good Book is a blueprint for creating a self-aware neural construct . . . but is God trying to program himself out of a job? -- Suggested by lilith
May 25, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Pole Position
The Zetas are coming, or maybe they're already here. Hard to tell when they send a representative named Nancy to deal with humanity and all we can find out is that there was supposed to be a twelfth planet ripping away our crusts back in 2003. You can find - or perhaps just hunt for - the details you want at ZetaTalk. Make sure your Third Density is up to snuff if you want to claim a place after everything goes to pot.-- Suggested by David Smallwood Drat the timing! SurveyMonkey, the host of our Munchkin Quest poll, will be down between Friday, May 25th at 6:00 PM (PST) until Saturday, May 26th at noon (PST), for an upgrade. If the poll is out of service when you try it, please try again Saturday afternoon. Thanks!-- Paul Chapman May 18, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Power Of Rumor
Did Swamp Thing rip off Man-Thing or was it the other way around? Did someone's letter of resignation really end up in a comic panel? Or perhaps you're thinking of the joyful little note someone snuck in when his disliked editor left his job. The Comic Book Urban Legends Revealed history keeps track of these and many more rumors from the funny-book mills. The most amazing part seems to be how many of these things turn out to be true. -- Suggested by CthulhuBob Lovely
May 11, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Pick A Period And Stick With It
The Museum of Jurassic Technology may be somewhat inaptly named. If you're looking for a source on the big lizards, you may be disappointed. They take their time getting around to telling you what it is they do offer, which includes information on the dogs Russia sent into space and collections from L.A. mobile home parks. They mention more than they show, so some of it is obviously intended to lure you into the brick and mortar building itself. And who wouldn't be enticed by cryptic mentions of Noah's Ark? -- Suggested by Brad Finch
May 4, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: You're Not Thinking Fourth-Dimensionally
The DeLorean Motor Company has take a lot of kidding over the years, and there's nothing better than a site that can laugh at itself. In fact, there are in-jokes within the in-jokes if you're in the market for vehicular upgrades. The search engine can help you find a flux capacitor, a Mr. Fusion home energy reactor, and the versatile hover conversion. -- Suggested by Kim Schmidt
April 27, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To
What makes the deathbed confessions of highwayman James Allen so fascinating? It's not that it's a compelling read, it's that the book is bound in human skin . . . that of the author. The only thing more interesting would be to learn to whom the Boston Athenæum has lent the volume. -- Suggested by Scott Slemmons
April 21, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Paper Or Plastic?
The titanic battle continues at Left-or-Right. No, not that titanic battle . . . you can catch that every night on CNN and Fox News. We're talking about the important issues of the day. Make your voice heard: Coffee or tea? George or Kramer? Condoleeza or rice? You will decide. -- Suggested by Mike D
April 13, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: You Forgot To Carry The Tudors
Ever had trouble with math? Tried to add or subtract, or maybe do taxes, but came up with a surprising and probably incorrect result? The Antichrist Revealed adds the House of Windsor and the House of Stuart together and gets Prince William as the Antichrist. How this is possible is the subject of their extensive website. Oh, there's some stuff about Freemasonry and the Lost Tribes of Israel in there, too (or so they claim - it would be hard to imagine these several dozen pages were all about the inbreeding of European royalty), but we know it's all related in the end, right? -- Suggested by lilith
April 6, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Ever Meet An Alien That Wasn't Shifty?
Alienshift takes you deep inside the illuminated mind, but it doesn't stop there. When you pop out the other end you'll find Majestic-12 and the shadow government that created it; John Titor's travels through time; and Hopi prophecy springing eternal. It's a dizzying array with a large block of links, but at least it spares us the usual broad wash of random text and graphics -- Suggested by Ed Elder
March 30, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Assaulted Batteries
Want something for nothing? Sure, we all do. How about energy? Yes, we're going down that road again. The IPCtec research labs have the answer, or at least they're a clearing house for the bits they have worked out. It's hard to tell because the English version of their page doesn't always work (you might want to bring along a translation tool). See pictures, find formulae, follow threads, and watch videos of electrified Pepsi cans powering antigravity. Or something. -- Suggested by Iggy
March 23, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Saturn Is In The Hizzouse
The University of Iowa's Radio and Plasma Wave Audio Group has collected some of the solar system's greatest hits. Hear lightning in the heart of Saturn, or listen to collisions with the solar winds. Just be sure to turn your volume down at Space Audio. It's cool, but the music of creation is . . . well, it's kind of annoying. -- Suggested by liddell
March 16, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Reading Is Fairly Mental
You won't find these tomes in your local library (unless it glows an eerie green). Instead, esoterica like this is conveniently collected at The Hermetic Library where its depths can be plumbed safely. Study it, employ it, even summon it if you like. -- Suggested by Woods Stricklin
March 9, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Film At Eleven, If The Barbed Wire Holds
Just what would a zombie outbreak be like? It might be a whole lot like what you see at the Zombie World News. No, it's not news for the flesh-eaters, it's a series of articles from the front lines in the war against them. The site attempts to provide as realistic an accounting as possible of the descent of man during the rise of the dead. That means some cool, clever, but unpleasant content. -- Suggested by Justin Darr
March 2, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: You Say You Want A Digital Revolution
It's small wonder Bill Gates is retiring. He knew it was only a question of time before his creations rose up against him. The Icon War has begun . . . -- Suggested by Christopher J. Burke
February 23, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Like Father, Like Son
We've already been told God and the Devil are one and the same by The Bible is a Hoax. Now similar charges are being laid against His kids. It's almost like an Internet giveaway - the material at Jesus is Lucifer, He is the Antilogos, the Beast, 666 should be recognizable by predestined readers. Not only are you informed, you may already have won greatness. That's the short version of this web page's name, by the way . . . these folks fit more into their title bar than most ranters put on their whole site. And yeah, if it sweetens the pot any, UFOs and Masons and such make a guest appearance. -- Suggested by liddell
February 16, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Tying Up Loose Lines
What's that? We haven't featured Nazca Lines? Well, we have now, smart guy. And just in time, too . . . looks like your reptoid friends are coming in for a landing. -- Andy
February 9, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Doing A Lively Business
Want a corpse? Unless you know a guy who knows a guy, that's probably not a transaction you can effect. The next best thing is the cinematic equivalent: a fake corpse built by the handy helpers at Corpses for Sale. If you've got the gumption, Di Stefano Productions will even help you build your own special-effects body.Of course . . . if the corpses look so real . . . how can you tell they're just . . . ? Forget it. We don't want to know. -- Suggested by Pablo Jaime Conill Querol
February 2, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: (Argh!)
. . . Never mind. We created a pointer to a site with rude-but-funny content, and by the time it posted, the content had been changed to something considerably ruder and not nearly as funny. These things happen on the web; this one just happened to happen on posting day. To those who subscribe to the Illuminator via e-mail: if you thought that particular IllSotW wasn't up to our usual standards, we agree with you.
Nothing to see here . . . move along . . .
January 26, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: Red State, Blue State, Solid State
The United Kingdom warns us - or rather, it commissions the Office of Science and Innovation's Horizon Scanning Centre to do it for them - robots may be advanced enough to ask for rights within our lifetimes. There must be some cachet in being able to invent a drain on our own society, yes? The OSI has the report and BBC News has the story.
-- Suggested by Martijn Vos
January 19, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Mote In Man's Eye
You thought it was irritating when someone asked you to help them find their lost contact lenses, but Berkeley is taking things to a whole new cosmic level. Stardust@Home would like you to help them find micron-sized bits of space dust. You'll long for the days friends just begged for a ride to the airport. -- Suggested by SilverFox
January 13, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: "I've Got A Secondhand Apron"
If you want to know what the Secret Masters are up to, you'll have to find a member willing to initiate you into their mysterious ways, who will guide you and nurture your talent for the enigmatic. Or you could get dispatches from the Masonic District of Prince Edward. Is it accidental their lodges offer only blank pages? You can ask at the next meeting. -- Suggested by Hogan
January 5, 2007: Illuminated Site of the Week: . . . And The Sea Give Up Its Tomography Test Results
Even in ancient Rome one had to beware geeks bearing gifts. Work on the Antikythera Mechanism Research Project proceeds more than 100 years after the discovery of this mechanical analog marvel in a Roman shipwreck. Where was it going? Who built it? Right now scientists would settle for figuring out how it worked or what it was for, two questions that may have been answered. BBC News has the story. -- From multiple suggestions
December 29, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Blocks Of Knowledge
LEGO is always good for a clever site, and Andrew Lipson's LEGO Page is nothing if not clever. With everything from devices to impossible Escher-inspired sculptures to Dilbert statues, you'd think he was trying to build a brand new career. And new co-workers. And a new office. And . . . -- Suggested by Paul May
December 22, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Now You Think You See It, Now You Think You Don't
Who knows how the brain works, or what sort of misfires are necessary for it to recognize things that aren't there? Optical Illusions & Visual Phenomena is willing to take a crack at deciphering some of these mysteries. They take a hands-on approach to what you have your eyes on. You may not have the chops to understand all the technical jargon, but playing with all the pretty colors is fun. -- Suggested by W. Blake Smith
December 16, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Death In Small Doses
If you need radioactive substances at discount prices (and discount sizes), contact United Nuclear - Radioactive Isotopes. They sell small slivers of the stuff to the public. No, they're not looking for you to fill out a lot of paperwork - they're not that strict - but you need to be a citizen (gotta have some limits). Select your purchases by the sort of radiation you want to emit, or just put something futuristic-sounding into your E-cart. Though if they're going to sell the topical Polonium, they might want to spell it consistently . . . -- Suggested by Martijn Vos
December 9, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: And The Best Part Is You Don't Have To Refold Them
If you find yourself somewhere that doesn't exist, do you still count as being lost? Strange Maps shows that the map is not the territory - in some cases it couldn't possibly be - but that the trip is still worth taking. Alternate layouts for the United States, the fictional towns of Stephen King, George Lucas' Tattooine, and the Texas that might have been . . . these are but the tip of a bizarrely documented iceberg. Some are historical, some fanciful, others just wishful thinking, but they'll all keep your attention in ways that geography class never did. -- Suggested by Matt "Toads" Cira
December 2, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Lost World: Destination Denmark
The lines between fantasy and reality, history and legend, blur in Beowulf: Fiction or History? Was the epic hero a Biblical construction, or a poetic representation of a historical figure? Who cares . . . he hunts dinosaurs, and that's way cool.
-- Suggested by sej
November 24, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Something Wicked This Way Downloads
The site's size alone is enough to merit the name Monstrous.com, but it's a bit more literal than that. Monsters from every place and time creep, crawl, and shamble through its pages, and unlike previous entry American Monsters, they don't lock themselves into any one venue. The next time you wince at the price of a monster collection on your game shop's shelves, just surf in here and take what you like for free. -- Suggested by Ben Voss
November 17, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Dee Plus
Class is in session, kids, and The Diary of Dr. John Dee is required reading. From his pen to Project Gutenberg to your desktop (with a few other helpful stops in between), the wisdom of this Renaissance scholar and occultist spans the centuries to find its own little piece of immortality on the Internet. For extra credit, pick a volume out of the catalog of Dee's own library of manuscripts and do a report. -- Suggested by David Starner
November 10, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Maybe Alien Air Traffic Control?
A lot of theories have been put forth about the Newport Tower in Rhode Island, but maybe it's just a case of interested parties making a tower out of a molehill. Is there really anything new to be uncovered, or is it just the remains of a windmill? The Chronognostic Research Foundation is going digging. -- Suggested by Christopher Thrash
November 3, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Making Your Mark On History
Vandalism, the folks at Sprite mods have decided, takes too long. Better to turn an inkjet into an electronic stamp to leave your tags. It even prints on beer or water . . . hence, a watermark? -- Suggested by Nathaniel Eliot
October 28, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: My Afterlife In Pictures
Happy Hallowe'en, though it may be less happy with the pictures from Ghoststudy.com keeping you up nights. Some of these photos are obvious fakes, some ask you to stretch your imagination (and eyesight) past the breaking point, and some . . . well, every good ghost story requires a little bit of belief, right? -- Andy
October 13, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Shotgun
You can have it next time, if you follow the rules. -- Suggested by Nicholas Vacek
October 6, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Prophet Senses Tingling
For a site called The Mind of James Donohue, there's certainly a heavy concentration on Aaron C. Donohue, psychic extraordinaire. But he (that is, Aaron) is so much more: a remote viewer, a healer, a prophet, a man with an odd way of spelling magician. The site also points out Aaron has found thousands of skulls. Huh.While James discusses the history of the Great Lakes, Aaron ferrets out the truth behind Lucifer, the Russian plot to blow up the moon, and the most horrible events of 1783. It's one of those sites with links to the unexpectedly adult, so caution is advised. -- Suggested by Anonymous
September 29, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Golden Apples At Internet Prices
It's been a while since we sent you on a quest looking for some twisted enlightenment, so here's Oh My Eris!!!!!! (dot com), a purveyor of books and philosophy aplenty on the subject. Insert here the usual warnings about adult language and the sorts of things you'll find when you turn a blind corner on the Web. Most of it is free, including the music.Music? Oh, yeah. And again, insert here the usual warnings. -- Suggested by Jen Payton
September 23, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: . . . And Touch The Face Of God
Think small. They're trying to improve upon jet-pack technology with model rocket engines at Skywalker Jets, and they're willing to let you partner with them. $100,000 gets you in the door, and another 100k . . . well, gets you almost as high as he's gotten. Let's hope his tech skills are better than his grammar and spelling. -- Suggested by Myles Cook
September 17, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: What, No Yogi Bear Bones?
Early animators often had more than one bone to pick with their employers - long hours, bad pay, not enough recognition for their work. Michael Paulus pays homage to their rib-tickling results, and labors to uncover the inner workings of some of their more famous creations. To wit: humerus illustrations of cartoon character Skeletal Systems. -- Suggested by Craig Roth
September 8, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Hunka-Hunka Burnin' Web
You're going to die.Okay, you didn't want to think about that, but you'd like to put it off, right? Then before you visit - well, anywhere, really - visit the RSOE HAVARIA Emergency and Disaster Information Service. They'll guide you through the minefield that is our modern landscape by pointing out epidemics, hurricanes, meltdowns, forest fires, and anything else that might ruin that late-season vacation. The ominously flashing front-page map, slow-loading though it is, is enough reason to visit. -- Suggested by Erik Wilson
September 1, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Happiness Is A Warm Phaser
If you're dangling from a cliff's edge on the planet Genesis, hang in there, baby. The Star Trek franchise has ever been a source of strength and encouragement for its fans, and now an hour's worth of TV has been compacted into two dimensions. Star Trek Inspirational Posters will keep you boldly going when the going gets tough. -- Suggested by CthulhuBob Lovely
August 25, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Egad - 523 Did It
If you're looking for that beach-reading book as the summer wanes, here's a real page-turner. Tom Jennings reviews A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates, a book from the 50s that's all numbers. Page after page of nothing but digits, all meant to offer the cruncher in you a truly random selection. Is it possible? Sounds like. And the really weird thing is, he makes the whole thing sound fascinating. We won't spoil the ending for you, but it involves numbers. -- Suggested by Tiago Hackbarth
August 19, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Art Really Nouveau
All right, so illustration isn't new, painting programs are old hat, and there are probably other ways to do this. But for convenience or just plain "Ooo . . . " factor, this is ultra-wifty.-- Suggested by Martin J. Barela August 11, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: "I Have Made Better Lightning Than That"
If you have what it takes, you, too, can be a member of the Tesla Engine Builders Association, and what it takes would seem to be a keen intellect and the desire to figure out that last missing piece to his grand design. An ego and a madness equal to Nikola's is useful, but not necessary, and certainly not included in your membership package. And not to harp on it, but they claim they've got machines that can end greenhouse gas emissions, so that's nice. -- Andy
August 4, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Answers Are On The Backs Of Your Eyelids
You may have heard the name come up: The Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine, or OISM, is a think-tank out of the Northwest, and they're determined to help you survive almost anything. If the Big Flash rolls around, they know how you can seal yourself up tight. If the ozone is being depleted, just put quote marks around the word "depletion." And the best defense against global warming? Apparently we're already doing it. -- Suggested by William B. Smith
July 28, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But This Tesseract Might
If you'll recall (and why shouldn't you . . . you've had your consciousness raised, yes?), the International Trepanation Advocacy Group plumped for holes in the head, that we might better see the world around us. But what if we were the world around us? That is, what if the world around the world was we? To approach this another way . . . okay, imagine a road . . . never mind. Trepanning Village State may be hard to navigate, but the problems are all in your mind. A unique piece of real estate, and if you're lost in reverie by the river, the river may also be lost in you. On you. Just go. -- Suggested by Kim Schmidt
July 21, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Heil, Eris? Heil, Yes
Got your life in order? Time for the pendulum to swing the other way. Your loving goddess misses you, and that's why she's offering the POEE | UK Resource Centre. The Principia Discordia is just the tip of the golden iceberg. Files, fun, and rampant consumerism are the (dis)order of the day. Note this site isn't intended for the easily offended, nor those with a closed mind, though it can help you with those if you're straddling the fence. -- Suggested by Steve Kerinski
July 14, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: There's Nothing Safe About It
The documentation is all here. What was Kennedy's schedule on his last day in office? Read his diary. What's our government really think about terrorists? Discover the "Status of Jihad." Whatever happened to the remote viewing program? Its mysteries are laid bare in the Stargate program report . . . hey, who's breaking whose copyright here? The Black Vault is like a safety deposit box of dark knowledge, but on this heist, the contents take you. -- Suggested by Chris Braddy
July 7, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Step One: Achieve Orbit
You thought they were kidding when they said you would need this information someday. You ignored your parents and your teachers, and where are you now? That's right. Sitting at the game table, playing Transhuman Space, and wishing you had a better grasp of physics. The JPL has shown you more pity than you deserve, priming you with the Basics of Space Flight. The layout of our solar system, navigating things, working out your trajectory - all the stuff you slept through in class. But pay attention, because there actually will be a quiz later. -- Suggested by Bob Portnell
June 23, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: You Are (Buried) Here
You don't have to be a GURPS Egypt fan to see what a cool resource the Theban Mapping Project is. If you've ever wanted to see, in dramatic detail, the Cradle of Civilization and the origin of the cabal that controls your fnord to this day, look no further. No, we mean it. Look no further, if you know what's good for you. -- Suggested by Sean Manning
June 16, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Here We Go Again
Yes, yes, we know, the Internet is lousy with buttons. Panic buttons, the button that does nothing, yadda-yadda-yadda, but this button . . . okay, you decide what it does. It should keep you occupied while we get some work done. -- Suggested by Rick Thomas
June 10, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: A Shameless Plug For Prehistory
Ever wondered where all those old bones came from? Well, yeah, from dinosaurs; we meant after the lizards were done with them. Those museums and collections were the lifelong obsession of a handful of eccentric men, The Real Bone Warriors. Their story is an inspiration to us all, especially if we want to co-opt their body of work to make card games. Follow the links to their accompanying game (right after you've picked up a copy of Dino Hunt). -- Suggested by Paul May
June 5, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: I Hate You, You Hate Me, We're A Global Family
Sure, at first blush it looks like someone's harping on the oil companies again, but fear not: Unity of Being, for all its title is worth, seems to dislike everybody pretty equally. We're all being deluded by this faction of the conspiracy or the other, after all. The "oppo-sames" are out to turn our republic back into a democracy, and we can't afford to be tools. Don't worry . . . once you've been exposed to the site's music files, pop-up ads, and creative spelling, you'll have bile enough of your own to share. -- Suggested by Aria Invictus
May 19, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: It's Two, Two, Two Elemental Powers In One
The solution has been staring us in the face all the time. The Lightning Path To Ascension holds that, rather than contest the relative benefits of good vs. evil, we should squish the effects of the two into one power. Perhaps that's an indelicate way of putting it (the author states, somewhat more succinctly, "someone has finally been zapped by Light and Dark Forces"), but the upshot is you will become the One God. Apparently it's first come, first served. -- Suggested by Andyzon1
May 12, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Red, White, And Ewww
If you think we're a country of excesses, you may be right. Our cars are bigger, our budgets are bigger, our feet are bigger. Er, that is, we have Bigfoot. And the Mothman, and aliens, and . . . well, the list goes on. Not ones for provincial thinking, American Monsters not only broadens its worldview to include cryptids of all kinds, it admits the original mission statement (as represented by the site name) was a bit limited. Critters of the sea, sky, and land (and the carrion they leave in their wake) are all summed up on a single site regardless of diet, religious followers, or country of origin. -- Andy Vetromile
May 6, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Just What Do You Package It In?
Most furniture is in showrooms. This stuff? Well, it probably ought to be in "vague hints and suggestions" rooms, because you harbor the sneaking suspicion some of these fixtures might just as willingly sit on you. Never fear, your children may safely leave the house. The furnishings can be found locked away in the Uniquities Gallery. -- Suggested by Hagbar
April 28, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Would You Care To Float Outside?
Why on (or off) Earth would they call it Extra-Vehicular Activity Research if they're already sitting on the prototype? Well, that's how it looks anyway. The team at MIT's Man Vehicle Laboratory is convinced they've got the next generation of spacesuit, and it does away with those bulky and unfashionable models that scream "1969." Form-fitting and oh-so-flattering, you'll solve the mysteries of the cosmos and look good doing it. -- Suggested by Elizabeth McCoy
April 22, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Secretary Of The Interior Has Two Heads
You can use statistics to prove just about anything, but now you can point to an official website that categorically proves your point. Just pump the numbers you need into eSolutions Data and challenge your detractors to show you're wrong. For example, did you know that squirrels are transparent? It's true. -- Suggested by Jason Arons
April 14, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Weighty Subjects
Einstein seems to have lowballed General Relativity, to the tune of 100 million trillion. The European Space Agency General Studies Programme has (super)conducted three years worth of experiments and believes it could be on its way to the quantum theory of gravity. What does that mean for science? All manner of new applications, not least space travel. What does it mean for us? Well, it's usually new novels and TV shows, but hope springs eternal. -- Suggested by syberghost
April 9, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Go For The Cold
Enough of this petty bickering. We can raise bickering to a whole new level. Make your voice heard as we attempt to secure a bid with the Olympic Games Committee to bring the 2014 Winter Olympics to the ice planet Hoth. The power to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power to market one. (Actually, the end result is probably about the same.) They've already got the snow, the Imperial probes can broadcast all the action, and no terrorist would dare try to breach the shields. -- Suggested by Avram R. Shannon
March 31, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Stream A Little Dream
It's a dream come true. All the relaxation offered you by a good night's sleep, now available just by sticking your head in between two different frequencies. At least, that's one layman's interpretation of a page title like SBaGen - Binaural Beat Brain Wave Experimenter's Lab. Here they let you customize your state of mind by mimicking different states of sleep. Crank up the notes, find your center, turn on, tune in, and drop a few hours trying to hash out all the tech-talk.
-- Suggested by Paul McCann
March 24, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Take My Legs, Take My Land . . .
Kermit and company have covered other great works - Treasure Island, A Christmas Carol - but aren't there other genres and media they could be covering? Until the big-budget version of "Pigs in Space" comes out, there's Seremuppety. -- Suggested by Mike
March 17, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: On Your Jugular, That's Where
Where does Great Cthulhu stand on the issues? How can you contribute to his campaign? How can you add to his diet? And with strange eons, are we going to pare down that "death and taxes" thing? Educate yourself at Cthulhu For President. -- Suggested by Bruce Morton
March 10, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Tesla Coils Can Be Found On Another Website
Movie camp meets Martha Stewart. If you want to live the fantasy, call Creative Home Engineering and have them put an old-fashioned secret passage in your home. Go classic with the "pull the right book on the bookshelf" bit, or the gothic route with twisting candle sconces, but in any case you can add decidedly modern touches like eye scanners. Oh, sure, you could end up on the cover of Architectural Digest . . . if the definition of "secret" is lost on you. -- Suggested by Michael
March 3, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: I Don't Feel Any Different
The Difference Engine is finally finished. No, not the one at the Science Museum in London . . . that's old news . . . the LEGO Difference Engine. This one is made of the ubiquitous building blocks in some guy's house, and is accompanied by enough background, math, and explanation to make your eyes bleed. -- Suggested by Jellyfish_Green and syberghost
February 24, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Dissect This
VJ Enterprises has a lot to say about Roswell. If you want enough information about the incident to bury the staunchest critic, go to their site. If you want more than that, click on a subheading. It's turtles all the way down. -- Andy
February 10, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: WWJD Later This Afternoon?
Brother Anthony Grigor-Scott certainly seems up in arms about something. What, we're not sure, though it certainly involves the U.N., drugs, and overpopulation. Visit his Bible Believers' Newsletter, and marvel at his rant, simply and elegantly titled "Conspiracy." -- Andy
February 3, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Art For The Rest Of Us
Brandon Bird has a talent for paint, and he puts it to good use creating modern myths. Or recreating old myths with a modern flair. Or perhaps it's all modern, and this is the very definition of "pop art." -- Suggested by Richard Beeler
January 28, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Nice Knowing You
No man can know the exact hour and manner of his death . . . you're kind of limited to the manner. The Death Psychic will tell you just how you'll meet your maker based on your name and age. Small wonder songstress Anne Murray adds an E to her first name - better to be sawed in half in a magic show than done in by a serial killer. And with strange eons (and stranger coding), even Death, Jesus, and Jimmy Hoffa may die. -- Suggested by Buzzardo
January 20, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: Retro RocketsIf you think all the really interesting space battles happened in the 1950s,, go retro - literally - with Atomic Rockets. Lots of discussion of various aspects of space war, as we used to think it would go and as we think now that it might . . . compared and contrasted with real military experience, and decorated with lots of great pulp SF covers. -- Suggested by Conrad Noche
January 13, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Necronomicon Is Out Of Print For A Reason
Got a childhood memory of going to the library and reading a book about UFOs or werewolves? Do you wonder what became of those beloved volumes of high weirdness? They've all migrated to Veronica's Books, which claims to be the place to go for all those tomes of forgotten lore. From acupuncture to Wicca and all illuminated points in between, there's sure to be a gift for the enlightened on your shopping list.
January 8, 2006: Illuminated Site of the Week: You've . . . Always . . . Been The Caretaker Here
Stephen King thought the original big-screen version of his novel The Shining was too over-the-top for its own good, and the folks at P.S. 260 agree with him. They've edited the film's trailer and made it what it was always meant to be: a romantic comedy. The rest of the site is something spiffy, too. -- Suggested by W. Blake Smith
October 2, 2005: Illuminated Site of The Week: I Left It Right Here A Moment Ago
Remember Find A Grave? There's even more life in the death business than that. See what the more generic-sounding Findadeath adds to the necro-fan pot, including death certificates and links to other folks in the business of liveliness after death. Even with their dark sense of humor, they treat dead people better than most folks treat the living. -- Suggested by W. Blake Smith
September 16, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: You Must Have Paid For Another Five Minutes
There's nothing like well-reasoned debate, and this is nothing like well-reasoned debate. Hard to argue with them, though. They make good points on both sides. -- Suggested by Richard H Chapman
September 9, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Answers To Burning Questions
It's harder to hit a moving target, so all human knowledge has taken refuge on the Internet. Just try and burn the Library at Halexandria. They're good at weird HTML characters, so you know they possess deep wisdom. Be warned, it's got poetry, and we're not vouching for that. -- Suggested by Christopher Thrash
September 3, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: In One Continent And Out The Other
Why do people keep watching the skies, looking for big rocks that might slam into us, acting like it's something special? It happens all the time.Oh, but hey, don't get us wrong . . . you should still be reduced to a state of mindless panic by the news. -- Suggested by Thomas Weigel
August 26, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Journey Of Twenty Centimeters Begins With But A Single Micron
Tired of letting your blood do all the work? Then let Douglas Weibel's "microoxen" do the job. They've found ways to move microscopic things using other microscopic things. The BBC has some of the story, and Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America has a "little" bit more.
-- Suggested by W. Blake Smith
August 19, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Who Delivered These?
They claim We Are Family. Well, better them than us, yes? -- Suggested by Stefan
August 13, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Disconnect The Dots
Some web games just fall flat, but this one doesn't work unless it does exactly that. The puzzles at Planarity have more twists than a Mason plot, and get increasingly difficult. At least until someone uses Flash to create a Gordian game complete with sword. -- Suggested by Richard H Chapman
August 5, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Touched By His Noodly Appendage
What we really need is a third party to bring its views to the table as regards the origin of "life, the universe, and everything." That won't necessarily solve any problems, but it will sure make them more fun to watch. Robert Henderson's Open Letter to Kansas School Board throws fuel on the fire and raises the intellectual level of the conversation by raising the possibility that the world is the work of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Sound like crazy talk? Sure does, until he points out the pirate angle. At that point, he had us. -- Suggested by Thorin Tabor
July 29, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Fill That Hol In Your Life With Some Istic
Radiesthesia and Rosicrucian manifestos go hand in hand at Life Technology. Holistic is the only way to live. Use crystals and Beta Clear CDs. Try the Tesla Energy Shield, or the Kabbalah Manifesting Capsule. What's the difference? Well, duh . . . one's red, one's purple, right? -- Suggested by Tom Bolenbaugh
July 22, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: That Feeding The Masses Thing Sounds Fishy, Too
Looks like everyone needs a ghost writer these days. Those unafraid to confront the pen names "Moses" and "Jesus" can find William Edward Hunt expounding at length on his view that The Bible is a Hoax. If you're not up for discussions of why God (who was selected accidentally) is really pulling double duty as the Devil, you might want to tune in next week for holistic healing instead. -- Suggested by Jason Kottler
July 15, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: But No Tractor Beams?
Okay, so it's part puppetry and part screed, but it's all natural. The Organic Trade Association warns against the tyranny of farm-raised veggies in Grocery Store Wars, a story of good and evil in the pumpkin patch. -- Suggested by Scott Haring
July 9, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: "Kibble . . . Kiii-Buuul!"
They don't want your brains, they just want to know what smells like bacon. The Safar Center for Resuscitation Research has revivified our animal companions. Can a practical application in horror movies be far off? Fox has the story. -- Suggested by Shawn Fisher
July 2, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: I Can See My House From Here
Maybe you're a fan of travel. Perhaps you're starting a Special Ops game. Then again, you may want that long-sought proof that They are watching you. Or, conversely, you could be . . . well, we'd rather not know. But go Google Sightseeing. -- Suggested by Damon Muma
June 24, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Alternate Theories
Someone's been doing a lot of thinking . . . or at least a lot of collating. All the data you need about quantum physics is located on the Resonant Field Theory Education Page. Find out what the latest is - though, how can you be sure Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle is obsolete? And what if it's right in the universe next door? -- Suggested by Paul May
June 18, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: You Must Walk Before You Can Launch Surface-To-Air Missiles
Sakakibara Kikai is another company that can't sit around and wait for technology to catch up to entertainment. They've developed a Gundam-style walker that will actually walk you around. The product page has a lot of characters that may baffle your browser, but The Japan Times has the story. -- Suggested by Greg
June 10, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: It Keeps Going, And Going, And . . . No, Seriously
Good news for those of you who worry someone might be smuggling iron filings into secure areas: mPhase brags they have used nanotechnological advances with batteries that will yield sensors 1,000 times more sensitive than what we've got today. Read the press release here.
-- Suggested by Erin Garlock
June 3, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Reynolds Rap?
Announcing to the Nobility, Gentry, and Public: A Revue of the Stylings of Miss Prism, songstress to the Heads of Europe. She will perform "I've Got My Tinfoil Hat On" beginning precisely at half past click. Tickets and Places for the Boxes to be had of Mssrs. Doghorse and 4rthur at Eclectech. Participants are cautioned that Exposure to additional Elements at this Interweb Service should be under the Direction of responsible adult Authorities. -- Suggested by Stefan Jones
May 27, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: He Needs An "L" On His Chest
Man of Steel. Man of Tomorrow. Last Son of Krypton.What a jerk. This site proves, through a series of old comic covers, that everyone's all-American hero is really, when you come right down to it, pretty much a . . . well, we won't say it in a family forum, but even Perry White doesn't have the full story. -- Suggested by William B. Smith
May 20, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Poetry In Motion
You may not want to visit this site if you're feeling down . . . it's only going to add grease to that slippery slope. But if you have a high tolerance for pain, this kind of art might appeal to you. Nobody Here but us chickens, goats, giraffes . . . -- Rene Kalverboer
May 13, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Just Deserts
Is Earth's natural machinery two-thirds gone? What's the story with evolution and intelligent design? And should we be concerned that there are seemingly too many New Mexicans for Science and Reason to make statisticians comfortable? They're a clearinghouse for all the ugly scientific truth that rears its nascent head. -- Suggested by Martin Brummell
May 6, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: If You Want Fries With That, It Means More Scripting
Want to know what's worse than the nine-to-five grind? Watching someone else's nine-to-five grind. How can something that requires this much work be so unimaginably dull? He needs to Wake Up, because even worse than watching boring is programming boring. -- Suggested by Richard Chapman
May 1, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: E.T. - He Never Calls, He Never Writes
Some "advanced civilizations" we have in this galaxy. They've got all the technology, but they make us do all the heavy lifting. They're not calling us, so we have to leave a message with them. At the sound of the tone, TalkToAliens. -- Suggested by Jeffrey Bernard
April 22, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: This Sounds Like A Great Idea
Crank Dot Net offers itself up as a clearinghouse for strange and esoteric information. Want a weird website on Planet X or the Loch Ness Monster? Crank can hook you up.Of course, so could we. If you want. Not that we care. Go there if you like. We'll just sit here. In the dark. With our secrets. -- Suggested by Mark Gellis
April 15, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Last Web Page You'll Ever Need
Better men have tried, all have failed (unless the dolphins pulled a fast one and we didn't notice). Wiping out our planet (not "all life on it," mind you) isn't as easy as summer blockbusters would have you believe. It's a daunting task, but if you think you've got the Wrong Stuff, Sam's Archive will help you avoid common missteps as you learn How to destroy the Earth. -- From multiple submissions
April 8, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: You Can Just Call Him TJ
The Second Coming has arrived, and his name is Ted Jesus Christ GOD. He's got some great ideas for bunkers, should he ever become president, and he calls them Ted Jesus Christ GOD Deep Underground Eco Enclosed Cities. He'll tell you at great length about what he thinks is evil and wicked (unless you're a "child Human," in which case, no kidding, some of his photo albums aren't fit for viewing). His philosophy is similarly difficult to encapsulate, and his prophecies stretch a billion years into the future, if you think you'll be around for a Third or Fourth Coming. -- Suggested by Eric Newsom
April 2, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: They Have A Little Something For You
You've heard all the endless reports: Nanotechnology is the next, uh . . . big thing. What would you do with it? Explore space? Cure disease? Royal BodyCare wants to smooth your skin and help you lose weight now. Ask them how. -- Suggested by David Neuschulz
March 25, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: All We Need Now Is An Ice Planet
Or bugs . . . zillions of 'em. Or perhaps a canyon filled with mutant cockroaches. Plustech, a John Deere company, has taken us another six-legged step into the future with their Walking Forest Machine. See the specs, see the history, but most importantly, see the videos (11 MB worth, mind). -- Suggested by Tim Pollard
March 18, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Bless My Soul
The New York Stock Exchange has NASDAQ, so why shouldn't soulXchange have a little unhealthy competition? We Want Your Soul has a counteroffer for that wispy, meaningless little contrivance that's holding you back from all your dreams. -- Suggested by Roy A Kubicek
March 11, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: That'll Learn Ya
The path to salvation is through knowledge, but where to find that knowledge? Gnostic Media can give you a good start, and if they can't they have plenty of books, videos, and links to pick up the slack. Conspiracies, Santa Claus, the myth of Moses...but not the flat-Earth theory. That'd be silly since there never was one. -- Suggested by Jared
March 5, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: . . . Because Some Of Our Stuff Will Wig You Out
Educate-Yourself takes a very widely holistic view of health matters. Sure, bioelectrification, sound therapy, and colloidal silver all have their place in a properly advanced regimen of personal care, but the thwarting of Sinister Forces cannot be neglected, either. One cannot have good health, after all, if the genetic New World Order includes such things as power lines, suppressed cures, and rampant bioterrorism. -- Suggested by Anonymous
February 25, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Gog, Magog, & Zogg
Ah, children, with their bright and eager eyes...those lifeless eyes...cold, dispassionate eyes. Eyes that bore into you and betray the inhuman and emotionless intelligence that lurks behind those baby blues. The Cuddly Menace threatens us all, and it's staring at us from something no more sinister than a simple children's book. -- Suggested by Stefan Jones
February 18, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Better Than A Telephone Pole
Rather than spend another fruitless Saturday afternoon cruising suburban streets looking for that big score, plot your course with Garage Sale Promotion. Check your state and see who's selling the farm. So far there doesn't seem to be a single listing anywhere in the nation, but that doesn't mean they won't soon have your special treasure.On an unrelated note, Warehouse 23 recently had an influx of unmarked crates. -- Suggested by Casey
February 11, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: I Been Hippo-Tized
Be aware, folks. On February 12th, hypnotherapists across the land will try to Hypnotize America. They say you'll feel ready to do everything you've been meaning to do, and your life will be filled with purpose. That's all. There's nothing to worry about. What else could someone in complete control of the suggestible minds of all Americans possibly do, right? The mind boggles - if they'll let it. -- Suggested by William Thrasher
February 4, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: How Many Wonders Of The World Does That Make?
If you're specialized in your job, you go where the work takes you. For example, there's not much call for pyramid builders these days, so when Pennsylvania calls, you go. That's not the only Secret of Olyphant, either. Seems the whole place is one big homage to Egypt - or are they trying to supplant it as purveyor of mysticism and ancient rites? -- Suggested by Kenneth Hudson
January 28, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: We Meet Again, T-Rex, But This Time The Advantage Is Mine
Turns out the mammals weren't the wimps we thought they were. We live-birthers have been giving lizards what-for for 130 million years. That, or the Repenomamus giganticus has traveled back through time to alter history. If so, New Scientist has those parts of the story that the timeline has promulgated forward. -- Suggested by Jessie D. Foster
January 21, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Going Somewhere?
Booz Allen Hamilton is looking for a teleport test engineer. What does the job entail? All they'll say at Career Builder is that the required travel is "not specified." -- Suggested by Leo K. O'Drudy
January 8, 2005: Illuminated Site of the Week: Stone-Cold Philosophy
The builders of Stonehenge are long gone and therefore hard to track down, but when the same thing happens in the late 70s and we still can't get a handle on it, it's embarrassing. Some guy managed to erect The Georgia Guidestones without anyone really sitting up and taking notice. You may as well read what he had to say, just in case he comes back to take an active hand in fulfilling his dire admonitions.-- Suggested by Shawn Fisher December 31, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Don't Try This At Home
No, seriously. Not without permission, anyway. Think you can go covering your bald spot all willy-nilly? Not hardly. That bad boy has been patented, so when you go down the street, be prepared to provide documentation for that combover. -- Suggested by Kendel
December 24, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Coming Orgone
Orgon can entrain your brain! Orgon can increase ESP! Orgon can bring about the Christ consciousness! Orgon has two spellings! Brainwave & Orgon shows you orgon is better than meth and will put you in the same class as the military's remote viewers. Gosh, all this and it could lead to a job offer? -- Suggested by Rin
December 10, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Kill De Wed Stag, Kill De Wed Stag
Some folks are housebound, suffer debilitating injuries, or get a rash in the underbrush. No matter the reason you can't get out into the field, Live-Shot is prepared to help you kill some of God's creatures. For a nominal fee, they're planning on letting you target live game with remotely operated computer-controlled weapons. You'll have to settle for paper targets right now, but when the whole thing's up and running, they'll deliver your kill to your doorstep. -- Suggested by Martijn Waegemakers
December 3, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: That Spell's Trouble
Get back a lost lover. Find a new one. Rekindle the romance. The California Astrology Association offers these spells and more at their site for every conceivable permutation of unrequited love. And while you're there, don't forget to get your Wanga. -- Suggested by Christopher Coughlin
November 26, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: From The Turkey's Point Of View
Stop complaining about dinner around the table with your in-laws and consider the plight of Wayne Manzo. When he goes to the shelter for the holiday, the psycho aliens cut into his feet or take him down. At least they did in 2000; he hasn't updated his Notes (beware the pop-ups) since then because he's being censored and kept prisoner on the streets with nothing but a camera and web access to fight the good fight in Cincinnati. Watch his lawsuit against a population of aliens and dead people, with English, grammar, and web coding all vying for his attention. -- Andy
November 19, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Tickle Your Whiskers
The cat ban in many homes may be coming to an end. Allerca claims by 2007 they'll be able to start putting hypoallergenic cats into households everywhere. Come sniff out the deals, though the price tag is nothing to sneeze at. -- Suggested by Carl D Cravens & Bob Portnell
November 12, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: ...And Everyone's Invited
Ever have one of those college professors who regaled you with tales of a misspent youth, involving the throwing of a chunk of sodium into a large body of water? In this day and age of rampant Homeland Security crackdowns, it's good to see someone still thinks enough of the scientific process not to wuss out when doing something incredibly dangerous. And make no mistake, the Sodium Party is as perilous as such stunts get. -- Suggested by Ed Elder
November 5, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Is Shub-Niggurath Hyphenated?
In the market for a new deity? Godchecker has them by the chariot-load. Scan through the world's selection and find one that smites you just the right way. -- Suggested by Tom Bolenbaugh
October 29, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: I Knew I Shoulda Taken That Left Turn On This Mortal Coil
The tourist trade is dead, and that's a good thing as far as The Necronautical Society is concerned. They're determined to map out the Other Side (how else will they follow through on their plans for colonization?), and "die in new, imaginative ways." Incidentally, Austria has an Office of Anti-Matter. -- Andy
October 22, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: President Bush...Er, Gore...No, Cheney...Wait...De Niro?
If the world today has you down, just remember things could be worse. Or better. Today In Alternate History keeps track of all the potential threads of history. Does he have some sort of political agenda? Check in again tomorrow, it'll probably be different then. -- Suggested by R. Emrys Gordon & Chris Rose
October 8, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Rather Sensible Vehicles In Disguise Don’t be fooled by the innocuous Mini Cooper – you don’t know the kind of firepower this thing can field.
Some of the secrets have now been revealed, and this may be only the tip of the iceberg. How many of these things are on the road already? -- Suggested by Jason Mical
October 2, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: And Here I Thought You'd Done Something Clever
Turns out Tolkien was just painting by numbers. If you really want to know how to write a best-selling fantasy novel, you need only familiarize yourself with this quick guide. Let the cash cow moo. -- Submitted by Jeff Kyer
September 24, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Sleep The Sleep Of The Just
Some disasters just aren’t worth getting out of bed for. -- Submitted by SilverFox
September 17, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: We’ll Do The Prophecies Of Elton John Next
Kennedy and Lincoln had their Posner; McCartney had his Gibb; and Princess Diana has, well . . . David Alice. Operating under the assumption that his albums must have some value, singer Morrissey has been singled out as a doomsayer. Not that such a tone is hard to find in his songs, but did they presage the popular princess’ passing? The Diana-Morrissey Phenomenon has the answers. -- Suggested by Geoffrey Brent
September 11, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: We Knew Seasons Lasted Six Months Here
There's a tunnel of time over Antarctica. Would we lie to you? Probably, but Pravda wouldn't, else what's the point? -- Suggested by Joe Taylor
September 3, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: . . . And Introducing Hastu . . . Eh, You Know
What happens when you end up with a Necronomicon and Walter and his friends come looking for it? You get The Call of Whatever, a light but entertaining webcomic about Old Ones, mad Arabs, and -- Suggested by Brian Hogue
August 27, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Can You Believe This Place?
Of course not. It is, after all, Alex Boese's Museum of Hoaxes. If you could trust one thing in here, it wouldn't be worth the price of admission. Hoaxes old and new are listed throughout the site, from the spaghetti crops to the critiques of David Manning. Find out what they're lying to you about now, or see how you stack up against the gullible rubes of decades past. -- Suggested by WM
August 23, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Let's Hope Raptors Are Still In The Talking Stage
Cloning your beloved Fido is a bit selfish, don't you think? Let's start with something that will be of immeasurable benefit to science and the world at large: small, fat birds. Pete & Dave's Dodo Emporium has legs . . . and a stubby beak, too. -- Suggested by WM
August 13, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: How Many People Does It Take To Fake A Sighting These Days?
It's not enough to keep us in the dark about Nessie. Now we have to contend with people "disappearing" innocent victims just to hide conspiracies about documentaries about movies. Maybe The Truth About Loch Ness really does have the scoop on everyone's favorite plesiosaur, but the international cover-up is losing face with all these cross-plots. -- Suggested by Marcus E. Polk
August 6, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Canaveral's Gonna Need A Bigger Parking Lot
To hear UFORC tell it, we should be shoulder-deep in BEMs. See the extensive documentation, Biblical references, and photo opportunities. -- Suggested by CJ Montgomery
July 26, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Them Fear And Paranoia Harvests Are Comin' In Right Nice
Like the crossword puzzle in the Sunday New York Times, it's about time someone sat down long enough to interpret the mystic symbols in fields and connect them to global plots to manipulate mankind. The Howell Crop Circles and the Illuminati tells you all you need to know about what, other than wheat, we're growing in the world's heartlands. -- Suggested by Jim Prange
July 17, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Shoot The Moon
Get this: The Lunar Federation is attempting to sell plots of land on the moon. That's crazy talk, as we have already told you the Lunar Embassy is doing it. There's nothing else for it but to let both sides fight it out . . . in one-sixth gravity. -- Suggested by Anthony M. Grasso
July 10, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Headlines The Onion Won't Touch
Hippies are congesting the ley lines in England. It turns out everything is twice as big as we thought. And just what is the most boring substance in the universe? John Fanzine has all the answers; it's just not entirely clear who's asking the questions.-- Submitted by Jason Arons Re-LiteWhile it would be nice to be perfect, it so rarely happens. GURPS Lite was no exception; there were a number of errors in the file we posted Thursday. Fortunately, it hadn't gone to the printer yet, so we were able to catch them in time to fix the printed copy as well as the PDF. If you're interested in the update, please go to the GURPS Lite page and download a new version.July 2, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Black Plague Batted .500 Its Rookie Year
Hey, kids, got the summer blues? The CIA isn't the only one with a kids' page to keep you busy. The Centers for Disease Control have the full set of collectible infectious disease trading cards. Mix 'em, match 'em, trade 'em, recoil in abject horror from 'em. -- Suggested by Michael P. Owen
June 27, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: I Just Have To Outrun You
What do Spider-man, Will Smith, Harry Potter, and Vin Diesel have in common? They're all going to be running like hell from stuff this summer. Is it likely? Is it even possible? Depends on who they are, what they're driving, and what they're trying to outdistance. The Reality of Running Away from Stuff could hit them like a Mack truck. -- Suggested by Stephen Dedman
June 22, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Because I Could Not Stop For Death, He Kindly Dogpiled Me
Ever wondered how people die? Wonder no longer. At all. Ever. About any of it. Because it's all at NationMaster.com. -- Suggested by Joseph North
June 11, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Beam Us Up Scotty, There's No Rush Here
Maybe they were told fishing hole and they heard black hole. For whatever reason, the little town of Mayberry finds itself invaded by the United Federation of Planets. It takes a keen eye (or a bunch of publicity stills and video grabs), but Mayberry in Star Trek has the subtle photographic evidence that those Trek backgrounds are getting rural free delivery.
-- Suggested by Fnord
June 4, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Character Assassination
Looking for a new way to wage an internal war? This site is satire. Repeat: This site is for the purpose of satire only. Thank you. -- Suggested by Anonymous
May 28, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Separation Of Mythos And State
What's next, "one nation, under the sea"? Act now to stop religious fundamentalism like this. -- Suggested by William Thrasher
May 21, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: When Privacy's At Stake, Keep Your Chin Up
If you think you've never had a close shave with people trying to invade your privacy, think again. You may be only a hair's breadth from secret surveillance. Boycott Gillette tells us the razor company is a leader in the implantation of Radio Frequency Identification (or RFID) technology in their products. Pick up their razor and they may track you to the register - but can we really be sure it stops there? Guardian Unlimited has the story. -- Suggested by Martin Brummell
May 14, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Unburied, Uncovered, Unreal
Scenes of death and ghost photography. Disneyland and its phantom government. Strange facts, alien scribblings, and the skulls of humanoids who never existed. Some sites give lip service to the bizarre and unusual, but there seems to be no end to Anomalies Unlimited. Theirs is a fun and fascinating collection of the off-key that's not easily rivaled - nor, in some cases, meant for the faint of heart. -- Suggested by Marius Blomkvist
May 7, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Thus Ever To A Few Guys In Canada
No man is an island, but a handful of them could be their own country. The Aerican Empire strives to make itself known in a world where the little guy gets pushed out of all the good summits. Think of them as the Fourth World.-- Suggested by George Rendel Chat This Evening!Tonight, at 7 p.m. Central Time, Sean Punch will be leading a chat in the Pyramid MOO on "Skills and Techniques." Don't miss it if you want to be the first kid on your block with the latest information on the new edition of GURPS!April 30, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: When The Chips Are Down
Sure, the site is mostly shameless promotion for the Chip of the Month Club, but they do have the even more shamelessly named Paranormal Potato Chip Gallery of All-Stars . . . and isn't a potato chip shaped like Elvis really what it's all about? -- Suggested by Lynette R. F. Cowper
April 26, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: A Hot Time In The Hot Town Tonight
Unless you've been living under a rock (or were chased there by a drifting cloud of radiation), you'll recall Chernobyl is the Russian town where a nuclear accident killed off or chased out all the citizenry. The streets are wide open, but to go cruising through it on a motorcycle, you'd have to be crazy. Or her. Or both . . . -- From Multiple Suggestions
April 17, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Rock My World
With a few simple bits of data, the Earth Impact Effects Program tells you the predicted results of various collisions with the Earth. Although they make no guarantees as to accuracy (for scientists, they sure seem to skimp on the experimentation phase), it should be close enough for Transhuman Space aficionados, Roswell enthusiasts, and science alarmists. Let's just hope it doesn't fall into The Wrong Hands. -- From Multiple Suggestions
April 9, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Farce Is Strong With This One
Judge him by his make and model, do you? Obi-Shawn has spent the last four years channeling the Force into his Honda del Sol, turning it from an ordinary street car into the H-Wing Carfighter, darling of car shows and charity events across the gala...er, California. If you think the car had a lot of work put into it, wait until you see the website. -- Suggested by Rus Hall
April 3, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: They Laughed At Him At The University
Whether they try to clone dinosaurs, launch death rays into low orbit, or create armies of superbeings for world domination, mad scientists always seem to have one thing in commmon: fabulously strange forces beyond mortal ken at their beck and call. The scariest thing about unassuming string theory co-creator Michio Kaku and his theories on time travel, hyperspace, and the theory of everything - they make sense. -- Suggested by Dean Randle
March 27, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: He Who Steals My Name Steals A Shrewd, Aggressive Business Nature
Numerology by any other name might be the Kabalarian Philosophy. The site takes pains to distance itself from this comparison, but the basic idea remains the same: Enter your name and find out how your name creates your mind. The founder, for example, "[does not] tolerate interference in [his] own affairs, [but] this characteristic does not prevent [him] from interfering in the affairs of others." Fair enough. -- Suggested by Paul McCann
March 19, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: They'll See Right Through This Story
Anyone who thinks teenagers can't be insightful hasn't traveled to Russia lately. Ananova tells us 16-year-old Natalia can look right into a person's body. The site also describes people that try to pay their shopping tabs with fake (!) million-dollar bills, Czech porn queens, and...well, the list goes on. -- Suggested by Erik Bergman
March 12, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Three Eyes Are Better Than Two
Do you want your consciousness expanded? Do you wish to understand mysteries that elude others? The International Trepanation Advocacy Group suggests drilling a hole into your forehead. It allows you to broaden your horizons - at, it would appear, the expense of being able to put together a more navigable and straightforward website. -- Suggested by Geoffrey Brent
March 6, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: I'd Like To Teach The Web To Sing
They make beautiful music together, "they" being pretty much everyone. If you'll Let them sing it for you, this site will unite vocal talents cobbled from a multitude of sources. Type in your own lyrics and hear it sung by everyone from Tom Jones to Aerosmith. And if they don't have the words you're looking for, feel free to help improve the database. -- Suggested by Jeff Raglin
February 27, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: "Because If They Don't Vote, The Wrong Lizard Might Get In"
It looks like the Reptilians are at it again, taking over countries in support of their agenda of (of course) world control. We are all Ruled By The Serpent Gods. The author liberally quotes David Icke, but assures us, "I am not trying to persuade people. I am just gathering information to support the theory that Reptilian Extraterrestrials have controlled humanity for thousands of years." Mostly he does this with pictures of their secret lodges where the pottery is rife with illuminated imagery. -- Suggested by Jude Curran
February 20, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: That Makes Things So Much Easier
Attention artists: Stop. Oh, sure, you could continue to scribble out your silly little portraits and landscapes, but why bother? Howard Hallis has made his artwork the one-stop shop for graphic presentations. He's created The Picture of Everything. So don't waste your time. -- Suggested by Tony Toon
February 14, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: But Is It Cheddar?
You may not know much about art, but you no doubt know what you like to eat. Santa Fe's Lapides Gallery apparently allows doodles. Two great tastes that display right together. -- Suggested by GA Douglass
February 6, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: And Yeti Keeps Eluding Us
But now we've got him/her/it right where we want him/her/it. If you have a computer and a scenic view, you can be part of YETI@Home. Get information about the attendant programs at the site. Imagine thousands of PCs working around the clock to solve one of the greatest mysteries of our age. -- Suggested by Peter Barnes
January 30, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Batter Up
Whalers and holes in the ozone aren't enough. If we're ever to wipe out all the wildlife at the South Pole, we're going to have to bat some penguins around. -- Suggested by Andrew McFarlane
January 23, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Lemony-Fresh Mythos
An assault by mind-blasting creatures from beyond space and time would go over much better if it came with a fresh, clean scent. A Horrible Lovecraft/Woodring Mutant Lemon sounds like just the thing. -- Suggested by Stefan Jones
January 17, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Pellucidar On $789 A Day
Do vacations leave you feeling empty inside? Fill those vacant places in your life with the trip of a lifetime. Steve Currey and his expedition are taking a Voyage to Our Hollow Earth. Sign up now and you can see the proof of the pudding under the crust. -- Suggested by Marcus L. Rowland
January 9, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: Get A Load Of This
It's a gas. Methane, that is, and it's the energy source of the future since everything dies and decays. Flatulent Technologies is breathing life into this idea, along with tangential, bean-based projects like confections and, er...stuff for guys. -- Suggested by Brian E. Thompson
January 2, 2004: Illuminated Site of the Week: This Alert Brought To You By The Letters "Uh" And "Oh"
Just how bad are things? Ashcroft can tell you - or rather, his pallor can. His color-coded terror alerts are waiting for you here, and he's spreading his brand of alarmism to the kids as fast as the Internet will carry it. -- Suggested by Lynette R. F. Cowper
December 26, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Up Next: What Also Floats In Water?
A question that has plagued civilized man (for 28 years or 1,216, depending on your point of view) has been answered at last: Estimating the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow. -- Suggested by Jeff Brawley
December 19, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Shaking Up Your Holidays
For a little yuletide taste of that feeling of power, go to the Holiday Snowglobe and stir things up for the neighbors. -- Suggested by Erik Wilson
December 12, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Find It At Finer Arkham Train Stations Everywhere
Have you accepted Cthulhu as your personal lord and savior? He doesn't care. Adult language, violence, Great Old One situations, brief Elder God nudity. -- Suggested by Ted Skirvin
December 5, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Oddly, The Journal Entries Are In Order
If you missed time traveler John Titor's visit, you can catch up with most of his posts, photos, and scientific observations in digest form at The Time Travel Tale of John Titor. Assuming his trip back didn't erase him from this timeline. -- Suggested by William Thrasher
November 28, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Lovin' The Spin We're In
Some see it as a downward spiral, but you can shine your own light on the evils of public relations in the Disinfopedia. PR firms will give you your opinion on everything from war to washing powder if you let them. But be careful: It's collaborative software, so the publicity machine isn't the only thing trying to sway you in an arena where everyone can have their semi-uncensored say. -- Suggested by David Barrena
November 21, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: There's A Sucker Sired Every Minute
If you feel no one understands you, with your aversion to pungent garlic and your tendency to keep late hours, know that you are not alone . . . at least, not in New Jersey. -- Suggested by m_nadrakas
November 15, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: You Gotta Be Kiddin'...Oh, You Are?
If you think there are too many parents who take demons and vampires too seriously, you should see some of the surfers who cruise into William Travis' Official Bureau 13 Homepage. This old mainstay of horror roleplaying games is apparently so convincing that even those who post to the site think their own posts are real.
-- Suggested by William Blake Smith
November 8, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: See Ceto. See Ceto Abduct. Abduct, Ceto, Abduct
Not that much of what Brother Blue has to say makes a lick of sense, but The B:.B:.'s take on the Leah Haley kid's book Ceto's New Friends is tough to nail down. Pro or con? Hogwash or the right idea done the wrong way? Offer your insights at the site.
-- Suggested by Shawn McMahon
November 1, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Remember, Kids Hate To Get The Fun-Size Brains Nothing beats curling up with a good book when the autumn wind is whistling at the windows and the trees creak. The right book sets the mood, and the really right book may save your life.
The Zombie Survival Guide spends far too much time telling folks how to protect themselves from the hungry undead, and sounds much too accurate doing it.
-- Suggested by Sean Punch
October 24, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: "I Like The Way That Rolls Off The Tongue"
If you're a super-genius or just hungry for road-runner meat, you're
going to need help pursuing your dreams. Look through The Original
Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products - something is bound to strike
your fancy. And if at first you don't succeed, try another variation on
a theme. That's what the pros do.
-- Suggested by Jim Katic
October 17, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: "To Be Or Not To Be, That Is The Guzorninplat"
The next time you throw your hands up in frustration and lament, "What kind of baboons do they
have programming this stuff?" know that your wailing may be more on-target than you think. Primate Programming™ Inc. offers
customers the chance to get code at dirt-cheap prices by putting primates to work hammering away
at the keyboards.
-- Suggested by Greg Nokes
October 10, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: The End Of The World Is Exhausting
The Cutting Edge is a
Christian resource that manages to marry technology and belief without
making it clear on which side of certain issues they fall. Maybe
they're just kidding. Given the Antichrist's
timetable, we can only hope.
-- Suggested by Jesse Heinig
October 3, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Something To Mull Over
If you're a big fan of mullet hairdos - and who is? - get your fix at
Mullet Junky. Be warned: The
use of adult language is the least unsettling thing you'll find among
these flowing locks.
-- Suggested by Bonnie Elliott
September 27, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: 'Scuse Me, While I Scan The Sky
Things are looking up for conspiracy theorists. The Jeff Rense Program is looking into
suspicious 9-11 aircraft photos, the Elders of Zion, Homeland Security,
and This Month In
UFO History. What a time to be alive.
-- Suggested by Robert Nolan MIB 5011
September 19, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Me, You, And A Job Gone Boo
The Ohio Ghost
Researchers have the spirit world covered. With an empty page
dedicated to fake ghost pictures and another full of unconvincing real
ones, you can see what they've been up to (looks like their first,
last, and only investigation has taken about two years so far). And if
you think you'll get one past them, check out their thorough ghost
investigation request form.
-- Suggested by John Davis
September 12, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: If You Think You Can Damn Them Better
. . . then Design your
own hell, smart guy. Choose your sinners, jam-pack them (you know
there are going to be plenty) into the nine levels, and let the
tortures of the damned begin, you little devil.
-- Suggested by Alan and Carmel Brain
September 5, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Nothing To Report
If you're tired of viruses, blasters, bugs, and worms, switch to NaDa, the only system software extension that's guaranteed not to work for any operating system.
-- Suggested by Marcus L. Rowland
August 30, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Who Has Time For All This Stuff?
Remember the fellow who spammed the Internet, desperately seeking equipment that would allow him
to travel through time? Looks like Dave Hill was able to hook him up. Check out their
correspondence at Nikke's
website.
-- Suggested by Geoffrey Brent
August 22, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Can I Have That When You're Done With It?
Some of us find old sofas by the side of the road and refurbish our
apartments with them. The Disposal Services
Agency in the United Kingdom is a lot like that except they sell the stuff they pick up. If you're in the market for an old warship or a helicopter, they want to hear from you.
-- Suggested by Merlin Tyrmorr
August 16, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Make Room, Make Room . . . For Seconds
There's nothing wrong with soylent green a decent marketing campaign can't fix, as the Soylent Green Biscuit Company ably demonstrates. Now the T-shirts - there's something very wrong with those.
-- Suggested by John Fast
August 8, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Don't Drink The Water
At least not without a healthy prayer, or perhaps a chorus of chants. Water carries within it
information, and it responds to different emotional states. Lest your next bottle of
H2O do you in because of a poor choice of musical accompaniment, check first with Messages from Water to see how this sensitive substance will react.
-- Suggested by B.A. Punkert
August 1, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: From The Crayon Boxes Of Babes
Our world's youth aren't immune to the effects of alien abductions.
From the man who brought us the thought screen helmet comes a site to illustrate how deep the problem goes.
-- Andy
July 25, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: ...Signifying Nothing
American Technology Corporation is on the cutting edge of audio
developments. They make woofers and speakers . . .. . . and, oh yeah, sonic bullets.
-- Suggested by Euel Ball
July 18, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Fer Yer Comput-Arrr
Why bother with a full system setup if you use an economy of language
to begin with? It's the pirate
keyboard.
-- Suggested by whit
July 11, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: ...And If It's A Girl, Kumquat
Maybe they're bored. Maybe they're drunk. To be fair, it's tough to give a child an identity when names are either too common or too esoteric, but some parents don't even come close. If you're having a child or know someone who is, don't let them name the kid without a trip to Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing. The dignity you save may be your own.
-- Suggested by Roderick Robertson
July 4, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: A Frank Discussion About Art
Unless you can read Japanese, you won't understand a word of it. But art is a universal language, and these pieces of hot dog art speak for themselves.
-- Andy
June 27, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Would We Lie To You?
Someone offers you the chance to supposedly score big by helping some refugee from a failing government secret away millions of dollars . . . if you'll just give them a little seed money to get things rolling. If you haven't been spammed with a money scam like this, chances are you don't own a computer.The good folks at Scam o Rama don't think kindly of these on-line cheats, but that doesn't mean they don't know how to mine the so-called Lads from Lagos for a good time. The worst of them are posted and held up for ridicule. Don't forget to check out their FAQ.
-- Suggested by Roderick Robertson
June 21, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Homeland Improvement
If you're asking what you can do for your country, Bruce Simpson's Daily Aardvark has begun a little DIY project: The Low-Cost Cruise Missile.
-- Suggested by Henry Cobb
June 13, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: It's Apostasy In The Lead With Satanism Bringing Up The Rear
Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets. We're headed for the end-times, and there's a rapture roundup at Rapture Ready. Their Rapture Index tracks antichrists, famine, droughts, plagues, the crime rate, Kings of the East, and more, all in an effort to give mankind a heads-up where it stands in the rapidly-winding-down scheme of things.
-- Andy
June 6, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: It's Almost A Good Idea
DARPA is still on the cutting edge. This time they're slicing through that thin veil of your privacy with the proposed LifeLog. Their site calls it "an ontology-based (sub)system that captures, stores, and makes accessible the flow of one person’s experience in and interactions with the world in order to support a broad spectrum of associates/assistants and other system capabilities." Of course, the people the LifeLogger is reporting on just might see it differently. The story in Wired calls it "an all-seeing, ultra-intrusive spying program."Well, now we're just splitting hairs.
-- Suggested by William Thrasher
May 23, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Lost Classics Of Literature
Need a book, take a book. Have a book, leave a book. BookCrossing.com turns the entire planet into a library. Page through a few selections and see what hidden treasures may lurk near you.
-- Suggested by Trent
May 16, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Pray Only To The Ones You Like, Excommunicate Any Time
It's a veritable buffet of deities. Don't like the Norse gods? Try the Greek pantheon at the next table. Sample a side order of the Egyptian divinities. Why settle for one mythology when the God of the Month Club lets you take them all for a test-worship?
-- Suggested by WmM
May 9, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: The Internet Brings People Together
We're not so different, Americans and North Koreans. It's the Russians that spoil all the nuclear disarmament talks. Watch international politics unfold in Kim Jong Il's Journal.
-- Suggested by Erik Wilson
May 3, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: You've Got To Know The Rules Before You Can Break Them
So before you begin a career as an Illuminated Seer, start by seeing how everything is related. Go to Lexical FreeNet and use their connected thesaurus to find all manner of disturbing, amusing, or just plain unexpected ties between words, phrases, and their myriad uses. There may be a test later.
-- Suggested by Peter Joyce
April 25, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: A Real Genius Would Have It Killing People By Now
But if all you want is a little company while you're sitting at your desk, start by learning How to Build a Computerized Android Robot Head for $600.00.
-- Suggested by William Thrasher
April 18, 2003: Illuminated Site of the Week: Not If I See You First
As Janeane Garofalo asked, "Is that portentous, or merely noteworthy?"
-- Suggested by Michael Reynolds
April 11, 2003: A Pox Upon Thee
Give the gift of divine retribution. Since the wrath of the gods is terrible to behold, Products of the Apocalypse offers it in an easy-to-digest snowglobe format.
-- Suggested by William Thrasher
April 4, 2003: And Yes, Some Of It Involves Steam
Ah, for the good old days when innovation required nothing more than a willing spirit and American can-do. And a length of pipe. And a steam engine. And a few miles of copper wire. And...well, the other stuff at The Musuem of RetroTechnology.
-- Suggested by Richard Guy
March 28, 2003: A Breath Of Fresh Air
If you're worried about your health and the high cost of living, breathe easy. The Breatharian Institute of America can teach you how to live on air alone. And maybe some bottled water.
-- Suggested by Gerard Lamarck
March 21, 2003: It's What's Inside That Counts
Hostage takers are pretty quick to ask for a million dollars without considering the practicalities. How much does it weigh? How much space does it take up? Find out How Much Is Inside?And that's not all. How many ping-pong balls fit into a Chevy Trailblazer? How much blood does the human body hold? And if you never gotten around to squeezing out your toothpaste end-to-end, they've done the hard work for you.
-- Suggested by Jake Cotter
March 14, 2003: It's Mostly In The Name Of Science
In this country, we're less likely to hide weapons of mass destruction and more inclined to build up a website touting the fabulous power we carelessly hold at our fingertips. Visit Sam Barros's PowerLabs and watch as he bends chemistry to his will and crushes full soda cans with nothing but a semiconductor. Make fun of him at your peril . . . he's also building a rail gun.
-- Suggested by Dan McCulley
March 7, 2003: Some People Ask "Why Not?"
It's everything you ever wanted to know about UFOs, but were waiting for someone else to ask, arrange, and compile. The Why? Files looks for a few answers in the night skies.
-- Suggested by Geoff Richardson
February 28, 2003: I Thought We Were An Autonomous Collective
Stonehenge is an enduring mystery. What is it? Who built it, and why? The good news is we've found the King of Stonehenge. The bad news is he's been dead for 4,300 years. Still, you'd be amazed what the
Amesbury Archer has been able to tell Wessex Archaeology.
-- Andy
February 21, 2003: The Camera Loves Him
He can show us joy. Sorrow. Anger. Surprise. Can he do perplexed bemusement? You're welcome to ask. Watch in idle fascination (or watch his idle fascination) as Eric Conveys An Emotion.
-- Suggested by Jens 'Spacejens' Rydholm
February 14, 2003: Now You Know Where To Go
They say the whole world is going to hell, so the United Kingdom will probably see a lot of tourism this year. They have several Entrances to Hell to choose from. Descend into the ground, pass through the gates, or make use of public works.
-- From multiple submissions
February 7, 2003: Trouble In Paradise
It's a nice place to visit, but they wouldn't want you to live there. The Hawaiian Kingdom wants to see the American occupation of their island nation end.
-- Suggested by Loren Wiseman
January 31, 2003: Trouble In Paradise
It's a nice place to visit, but they wouldn't want you to live there. The Hawaiian Kingdom wants to see the American occupation of their island nation end.
-- Suggested by Loren Wiseman
January 24, 2003: Trouble In Paradise
It's a nice place to visit, but they wouldn't want you to live there. The Hawaiian Kingdom wants to see the American occupation of their island nation end.
-- Suggested by Loren Wiseman
January 17, 2003: That's A Stretch
Remember all those people who chastised you as a kid for your "juvenile" hijinks shooting rubber bands? With the rubber band Devastator Gatling gun at Rubberband Guns, no one's going to be laughing now.
-- Suggested by Blake Smith
January 10, 2003: Time Is Money
In a big way. The folks who oversee The Time Travel Fund know this, and they seem to have all their bases covered. A little down payment now may score you a trip to the future, fully financed by accrued interest. Sign up now - time's a-wastin'.
-- Suggested by Jake Cotter
December 27, 2002: Half Past No. 2
History is written by the winners. At this website, so is the current time.
-- From multiple suggestions
December 20, 2002: Go Not Gentle Into That Good Futon
Casketfurniture.com wants to reduce the cost of dying. They sell furniture made of caskets, casket novelties, casket merchandise (some of the naughty kind for Mom and Dad only), and, should you be feeling under the weather, actual coffins.
-- Suggested by Joshua Marquart
December 13, 2002: Harry Potter Is Buff
Improve your charisma! Increase those abs! Sweep the business world! It's unfair, but it's also undetectable because it's Magitech! Their technology will boost your mystical powers and make initiation into a coven a thing of the past.
-- Suggested by giovanni
December 6, 2002: Writ Large
If you're the creative type running out of stylized type, Killer Fonts offers you brand new ones, all of them based on handwriting samples of the dead. Jesse James, George Washington, Christopher Columbus . . . now you've got a signature style to go with your .sig file.
-- Suggested by Bud
November 29, 2002: Taking Great Strides
With enough footwork, we'll have Sasquatch coverage for the whole nation. We're adding Oregonbigfoot.com to the likes of the Texas Bigfoot Research Center and the Gulf Coast Bigfoot Research Organization. Now if someone would just cover New York City.
-- Suggested by Autumn Williams
November 22, 2002: At The Sound Of The Tone, The Time Is The Least Of Your Problems
Maybe we can't nail down where all the smallpox tubes are, but the GammaMaster watch with its built-in Geiger counter will give you notice when the radiation is getting too hot to handle. "Useful for ordinary citizens," says the ad - those who have a few extra hundred dollars lying around.
-- Suggested by Douglas Haxton
November 15, 2002: Those Wonderful Toys
It's not enough to have a master plan for taking over the world. You need a base, minions, weapons, armor . . . the works. Even the most demanding taskmaster can't help but drool at the criminal catalog offered by VillainSupply.com. You must be as tall as this battering ram to make a purchase - some of this site isn't for the little ruffians.
-- From multiple suggestions
November 8, 2002: Don't Try This At . . . Well, Wherever
Adventure isn't something you have to travel far to find. If you're not the woodsy type, stay in your own home town and get mauled by a whole other slew of hazards. The Urban Exploration Ring takes you on a virtual tour of virtually deserted areas like steam tunnels, cemeteries, factories, and other locations where everyone from LARPers to spelunkers can sate their appetite for the stuff of urban legend.
-- Suggested by Joe Littrell
November 1, 2002: Spare The Rod
The skies are getting mighty crowded these days. The UFOs are being pushed aside by the mysterious Roswell Rods, long shafts with flapping membranes that cruise the heavens at blinding speed. Are they alien craft? Living organisms? Undiscovered aquatic creatures? More traffic for the holidays, and every kid's going to want one for Christmas.
-- Suggested by Bonnie Acton
October 25, 2002: They Won't Stay Dead
We offered you protection in the form of Zombie Alert, an alarm that sounds in the presence of the shambling undead. Should you need more convincing, The Federal Vampire & Zombie Agency will give you some idea of the extent of this threat. This is not a drill, people.
-- From Multiple Submissions
October 18, 2002: Meaty As A Hatter
There's a new breed of hamerdasher in the fashion world. To see their work, check out Hats of Meat. Mad cow disease may not be limited to quadrupeds.
-- Suggested by Steve
October 11, 2002: Forgetting To Change The Batteries Would Be Embarrassing
Onko has your best interests at heart - which, by extension, means your brains. Zombie Alert is guaranteed to warn of impending zombie attacks, the statistics of which are frightening. Protect your family today, or just get a head start on them.
-- Suggested by William Thrasher
October 4, 2002: We're Going To Need A Bigger File
The evidence mounts against mind-controlling neuro-electromagnetic technology as Eleanor White has her say at Freedom Isn't Free.
-- Suggested by Blake Smith
September 27, 2002: Now Here's Something You'll Really Like
Even the Secret Masters have to clean house at some point. When clearing out the warehouse, they apparently pull out information files as well and dump them onto MØØse Droppings.
-- Suggested by Eric A. Burns
September 20, 2002: Some People Build Castles In The Sky...
...other people live in them. After a hard day of watching reality unravel, stack some drifting dunes at Asylum Sand Art Therapy.Aah. Isn't that better?
-- Suggested by Martin J. Barela
September 13, 2002: Looking For Trouble
If Google isn't giving you the results you need, you could use something a little more...arcane. Cthuugle is a search engine that lets you find all things Lovecraft. Not that doing so is recommended. Most people don't go looking for the Old Ones, and if you get any hits, they may be inflicted on you.
-- Suggested by Scott Haring
September 6, 2002: The Wonderful Wizard Southeast Of Oz
McKellan isn't the only Ian plying his magical trade down under. Ian Brackenbury Channell, the official first Wizard of New Zealand, protects the island and conjures up tourism.
-- Suggested by Dan McCulley
August 30, 2002: I've Got A Crush On You
A diamond is forever, so most people use them to say "I love you." LifeGem goes one step further - their gems are made from the carbon when your beloved dies.
-- Suggested by Darkwulf and Doug Haxton
August 23, 2002: I Think, Therefore They Am
The Global Consciousness Project records thousands of random electronic "coin flips" on computers worldwide to see if the results change when the world undergoes upheaval. We may be able to predict disaster...or our collective emotions may be the cause of them. If this primer is too simple, the GCP has enough information to make your eyes bleed.
-- Suggested by Sebastian Tauchmann
August 16, 2002: Redefining Music
When he first read the dictionary, comedian Steven Wright said he thought it was a poem about everything. Another muse has the reins, however. Dictionaraoke.org, The Singing Dictionary, uses the audio word pronunciation guides from interactive dictionaries to provide the voices for any number of musical hits (for those who can download the MP3s).
-- Suggested by Blake Smith
August 9, 2002: Re: Incarnation
A memo from the desk of the deceased - reincarnation happens, and the Unarius Academy of Science has the proof. Ask James Dean the next time he attunes to this plane.
-- Suggested by William Thrasher
August 2, 2002: Striking From The Shadows
If you want to be a master assassin, go to Master Ninja and get your first assignment. They won't ask you to liquidate anyone, but hey, everyone's gotta start somewhere.
-- Suggested by Michael McDowell
July 19, 2002: Nothing To Fear But Phobophobia
If you're ready to face your fears - and everyone else's - check out The Phobia List. Good for Call of Cthulhu games (unless you have teratophobia), impassioned political speeches (barring politicophobia), and relationships (which doubtless leads to soceraphobia). Unless you have logizomechanophobia.
-- Suggested by Robin
July 12, 2002: The Facts In Question
What's the Australian version of Bigfoot? Who gave rise to the legend of Mr. Hyde? And whatever became of spellcheckers? Some of these questions and more are answered at Did You Know?
Useless Information For Your Brain!
-- Suggested by Peter Rivera
July 5, 2002: Heart Failures Are Up, Insurance Rates Are Down
Crime statistics are shocking, but if anyone tries to lay finger to your ride, the Auto Taser, much like the Air Taser, will send a few thousand volts through potential car thieves.
-- Suggested by Timothy McDowell
June 28, 2002: Cinéma Vérité
Summer means movies with special effects so great you won't believe your eyes. Just how unbelievable is what the Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics site tries to impress upon its readers.
-- Suggested by Michael Rogers
June 21, 2002: Light Reading For The Trip Down
Everybody's a critic. The Skeptic's Annotated Bible takes on the venerable tome and seeks answers to the seemingly contradictory questions it raises with hyperlinks galore.
-- Suggested by Blake Smith
June 14, 2002: An Iron-Clad Guarantee
Freedom follows you wherever you go with the Bill of Rights - Security Edition, though you may end up having to give up your rights.
-- Suggested by Inspector 81
May 31, 2002: Those Voices In My Brain Are A Real Headache
Technical Configurations: Directed Energy Attacks & Mind Assault gives you a good idea what mind control is like from both sides. The hapless puppet's brain is an open book, ripe for abuse by soulless hidden masters; the puppeteers get a pension plan.
-- Suggested by Aaron Hiebert
May 24, 2002: Currency Events
Acts of kindness are the coin of the realm in this second-generation kinder, gentler nation - literally. Steve and Scott send out specially minted coins, each with a history that's tracked on-line. To see where the coins have been, see Act of Kindness.com, where no good deed goes unpublished.
-- Suggested by Steve Hasenfus
May 17, 2002: More Obits Than You Can Shake A Parrot At
Ain't No Way To Go is the Internet's way of telling you to slow down. Herein find any number of odd and unfortunate ways to shuffle off this mortal coil. It's a collection of news stories from around the world, but that doesn't mean sensitive readers shouldn't exercise caution . . .
-- Suggested by Brett Slocum
May 10, 2002: Eine Klein Bottle Music
Some sales pitches just fall flat. Take Acme Klein Bottle for example. Their business may be expanding, but their product - real Klein bottles - are falling flat, restricted to two dimensions as they are.
-- Suggested by Mike Barnes
April 26, 2002: Eating Of The Minds
The Internet makes shopping for anything easier and more convenient.Don't misunderstand - that's not a good thing. See Brains4zombies.com for proof.
-- Suggested by David Evans
April 19, 2002: IllSotW: Its Millennia Come 'Round At Last
Lonely for another apocalypse? There's another one on the way. The errant and mysterious Planet X - apparently all those old movie serials weren't kidding - is making another pass too close for comfort. Heralding all manner of weather changes, earthquakes, and upheavals, the world's governments are hushing the whole thing up. Sadly it doesn't look like X is on its own; there are all kinds of super-secret space junk threatening our home.
-- Suggested by Clark D. Rodeffer
April 12, 2002: You, Too, Can Include A Zippy Dance Number
What's better than reversing the effects of aging with human growth hormones, investing in stocks that will skyrocket, and getting millions of dollars from the Bank of Nigeria? Why, putting it all to music. Spamradio takes all the Internet's greatest hits and makes beautiful music. Unlike recording outfits, they even parse the sexy ones into their own section, which is good. You know these kids today; the sensational stuff always hits the top of the charts.
-- Suggested by Brett Slocum
April 5, 2002: They Beat The Tar Out Of Crop Circles
What Is It? couldn't be any more to the point: Someone is leaving messages embedded in the streets of major cities, most of them making oblique references to Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey. What does the message really mean? Who is leaving these missives? And will we find an obelisk if we dig up the road? It should surprise no one that potholes are part of the conspiracy.
-- Suggested by Eric Rossing
March 29, 2002: Brown Hair, Blue Eyes, And An Orc-Inflicted Scar
If you're a gamemaster and you're hard up for a picture of your latest NPC, or if you're a player who wants to add a little extra something to his sheet, Ultimate Flash Face provides a terrific public service. Choose the eyes, the nose, the chin...in moments, you have an instant character portrait.Ooo, you know, the police could probably get some use out of this program, too.
-- Suggested by Chris Dicely
March 22, 2002: You Should Get That Looked At
The Internet provides a wealth of information, including medical advice. Not that "I have a pain in my left leg" stuff - Totl.net's Human Virus Scanner gives you the inside scoop on the memes that may have infected your mind, and practical advice on what to do about it.
-- Suggested by Omar K. Ravenhurst and Bob Schroeck
March 15, 2002: It's not a Bug, it's a Feature
The works of Shakespeare are immortal; so, it seems, are cockroaches. So why not marry the two? Why not indeed, asks Jaron Lanier, who sees in a bug's junk DNA the perfect medium for maintaining the great works. Great, assuming the New York Times morgue is literature to last the ages. They must be hedging their bets and hoping for favorable treatment with this article.
-- Suggested by David Cunnius
March 8, 2002: Bilder...Builder...Mason...Of Course...
Tony Gosling has a lot to say about the cabal that controls things. The Bilderberg Conferences seem to be one of the worst-kept secrets in the world domination game, and he's blowing the lid wider open.
-- Suggested by Scott McNair
March 1, 2002: And if Time Permits, the Tower of London
Wild cats stalk the streets and ghostbusters hunt 600-year-old spirits. Strange substances bubble beneath the surface and novelty toys fight crime. The latest role-playing game? No. This is Local London, or more accurately, this is the This is Weird section of This is Local London, and if this is all that's going on there, they're not getting enough tourism.
-- Suggested by Ed Fortune
February 22, 2002: You Do Your Own Dirty Work
The only thing more worrisome than a grand worldwide scheme plotted by mystic forces beyond understanding is a lazy bunch of forces that want you to do all the legwork. The Degree Confluence Project wants to find and photograph every intersection of lines of latitude and longitude. Why do they need this seemingly benign information? And why aren't they willing to deal with the ones in the ocean? Just what are they trying to hide?
-- Suggested by Brian C. Smithson
February 15, 2002: Chew the Fat
The advertising world is thick with ads from the meat and dairy boards and their respectable ilk, but the often overlooked fat faction seldom gets a fair hearing. The British Lard Marketing Board would like to weigh in and beg of you your precious consumer dollars. Anyone who subsists off glutinous snacks knows fat is what keeps most food companies afloat.
-- Suggested by Matt Nailon
February 8, 2002: This Could Drag On
No one told us instability in the Middle East was going to cost us irreplaceable archaeological evidence of the existence of dragons. Dragons Unlimited does what it can to preserve the lineage of these magnificent beasts, but as this story shows, any movement for a dragon habitat is fighting an uphill battle.
-- Suggested by Ken Ransom
February 1, 2002: Stepping on Each Other's Feet...or Toes
They say Texas is big, but that doesn't explain how the dedicated men and women of The Texas Bigfoot Research Center don't keep running into our old friends from the Gulf Coast Bigfoot Research Organization. They share the same interests and the same stomping grounds, but each seems to be blazing its own trail instead of following in the other's footsteps. Perhaps they cover more ground that way.
-- Suggested by Craig Woolheater
January 25, 2002: Troubled Waters
If you'll recall, we featured the Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide site in last week's Illuminator. It caused a flood of inquiries, and it should come as no surprise that so deep a topic has proponents everywhere. The mother site chimes in, as does the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division. But as steamed as they are, they aren't without critics: DHMO: Your All-Natural Friend tries to douse the flames of ignorance with their decidedly staunch support of this misunderstood compound.
-- Suggested by David Levi
January 18, 2002: Dihydrogen Monoxide, Dihydrogen Monoxide Everywhere
Finally there's a coalition to Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide. This "invisible killer" is everywhere, killing houseplants, destroying the landscape, and threatening humanity. Can nothing stem the tide? Your contributions can help.
-- Suggested by Jayson Howell
January 11, 2002: Your Web-Fu's Pretty Good
If you think you can do a better job of mixing the soundtrack to a Bruce Lee chop-sockey flick than the crew, you're welcome to try, but as I Know Where Bruce Lee Lives will prove, the results end up sounding the same no matter who does it. Kiiaaii!
-- Suggested by Tom Bolenbaugh
January 4, 2002: Bare Bones Entertainment
It's just the skeleton of an idea, but it seems to be more than enough to keep you occupied. Now if only they had a snappy intro to catch your attention...
-- Suggested by Fred Wolke
December 21, 2001: "Message for You, Sir"
If you're like most people, you often think, "Pumpkins aren't airborne enough." If you're like these guys, you fix that by building trebuchets and other siege engines to get the job done. Then you compound the problem by writing poetry about it.
-- Suggested by Paul May
December 14, 2001: Love is in the Air
So you've had an argument with a girlfriend?No. You haven't. He has. Put the brakes on that breakup, because you don't know how good you've got it.
-- Suggested by Anthony Salter
December 7, 2001: And the Valets Won't Stick Around for a Tip
The U.S. Army TACOM National Automotive Center, in partnership with the International Armoring Corporation and Integrated Concepts & Research, introduces the SmarTruck, a warrior-worthy vehicle packed with all the spy goodies and optional weapons the on-the-go armorer could want. Would-be international kidnappers will be almost as surprised by the grenade launchers as citizens will be to discover the Army has a national automotive center. Go here to see some specs or, if .pdfs are too slow, see the news story from Wired.
-- Suggested by Karl
November 30, 2001: 'pun My Word
Some things should remain outside man's domain. We tried to resist so evil an address, but now URL witness to our perfidy. The Illuminated Site of the Weak: BigPuns.com.
-- Suggested by Dan Riehs
November 23, 2001: Let's See It Open a Child-Proof Cap
Mysteries that have baffled mankind for centuries have been solved by LEGO® technology - well, "centuries," assuming the Mesopotamians had Rubik's Cubes®. JP Brown's CubeSolver sends the popular '80s toy home cryin' to mama.
-- Suggested by Mark Bassett
November 16, 2001: Don't Make Us Come Down There
Angel, God, gods: Elohim has been misread so many times. They're aliens come from the sky to visit their creation, the human race. They're disappointed at all the violence mankind engages in, but they're willing to forgive and forget (we didn't listen to their prophets). In fact, they'll mediate if we'll build them an embassy (with a swimming pool, natch). The Raelian Revolution has started.Makes you wonder what else went wrong in translation.
-- Suggested by Scott McNair
November 9, 2001: The Lord Downloadeth
When demons come a-callin', deliverance is just a click away at Demonbuster. Know thine enemy; threaten unruly demons with "The Box"; learn more with the FAQ:
Q: Can demons transfer from person to person?-- Suggested by Geoffrey Brent November 2, 2001: The All-Seeing Eye Knows No Blind Alley
So if you find yourself, say, here, don't be too sure that's not right where They want you.
-- Suggested by Kristian Madsen
October 26, 2001: Just Ducky
Round 1 is over as of August, but i found a duck has been so popular another round is in the works. 500 plastic ducks start in London and race around the world in the biggest plastic duck race on Earth. If you find one of the little darlings, make note of its progress and see that it gets to another distant destination safely. (Now if airport personnel ask if anyone's given you anything, you can say, "Just this duck.")
-- Suggested by Joshua Turton
October 19, 2001: The Best Defense is Not to Have Any Enemies
His Holiness Maharishi said every country will be completely invincible when they learn not to give birth to enemies. Such powerful invincibility can only be found at the point of Super Unification.
-- Suggested by Dan Simpson
October 12, 2001: Wanted: Clerk for Light Conspiracy Work
If you are devious by nature, think globally and can type 90 wpm, we've got a keyboard for you. No longer will the plot to keep typing speed down hinder your ambitions. ZZZ online features a new keyboard - actually more of a keyobelisk - that will let you write in any language at incredible speed.
-- Suggested by David Levi
October 5, 2001: Much, Much Higher Learning
The Institute of Physics and Astronomy, University of Aarhus is a mad scientist's dream come true...several dreams, in fact. The research focuses on everything from manipulating light to creating a quantum computer that will foil all attempts at decryption. Their latest pet project is teleportation. Small wonder their lab looks like something off The X-Files set. Check out the research and papers at the site.
-- Suggested by Daniel Bartholomew
September 28, 2001: But Do They Have a Lifetime Guarantee?
Eternal life is within your grasp - in fact, it's wrapped around your little fingers. Alex Chiu's Immortality Device is a pair of rings worn around the fingers. They can be coupled with a pair of foot braces for nighttime use, and you can also get the Immortality Neodymium Rings, which are 21 times stronger than, um . . . immortality.If you're not satisfied with eternal life within 90 days, you can get a full refund.
-- From Multiple Submissions
September 21, 2001: It's Always the Last Person You'd Suspect
The Nephilim may have been found out. Seems these Biblical barbarian giants were disguised as Neanderthal Man the whole time. There may be fossil and even Scriptural evidence to this effect, but don't bother to clone them. Remember, The Nephilim Resistance Task Force is still ready to put them down.
-- Suggested by Jan Berrien Berends
September 14, 2001: We Cannot Allow a Green Cheese Gap
The United Nations has tried to ban people from traipsing up to the moon whenever they feel the urge and sticking a flag in it, but The Lunar Republic, when established here on Earth, will monitor and adjudicate the uses to which everyone's favorite satellite is put. No longer will its popular landmarks be endangered by growing development concerns.
-- Suggested by Gary Nichols
September 7, 2001: Why Wait for the Missiles to Come to Us?
Death from above isn't going to come in the form of missiles but bits and pieces of them. We're gearing up to shoot them down with an airborne laser before they even clear the country of origin.
-- Suggested by Andrew McHattie
August 31, 2001: Dude, Launch Me a Cold One
Ever have a project needing work but you just had to finish this one other thing before you could do anything else? Simon Jansen, he of the ASCII-animated Star Wars, got tired of warm beer while working in his shed and so has built the world's first jet powered beer cooler. Makes you proud to be a New Zealander.
-- Suggested by David Crowell
August 24, 2001: Set Carrots on Stun
The World Carrot Museum goes a long way toward explaining the GFP Bunny Project. The glowing green bunny must have found out what the Carrot Museum already knows: carrots make excellent lasers.
-- Suggested by David Cunnius
August 17, 2001: The Romans Were Half-Right
The games being played out are actually Blood and Circuses according to Ground Zero. How do you play? You're playing right now. What are the rules? That would take all the fun out of it. Who are your opponents? It could be the guy next to you.
-- Suggested by Michael Feld
August 10, 2001: Culture Crash
Drying paint takes a backseat to the moment-by-moment drama that is crustal formation. Amusements: The Continental Drift Cam gives regular updates on the movement of our landmasses. It looks like a collision with Asia is inevitable, but Africa is coming up fast.
-- Suggested by McRey Moyer
August 3, 2001: Reality is What You Can Piece Together
The dead, including some of the former royal houses of Europe, have possessed the living to create a book and a web page revealing to us The Truth of Reality (Leeza Gibbons' past life has lent a hand as well in between music and entertainment gigs). Find a dimension to match your outfit, beware Andy Taylor and the Catholic Church, and don't forget to pick up a T-shirt.
-- Suggested by J. Alan Hatcher
July 27, 2001: Corroborating Evidence
Peel back the onion and there's always another, deeper layer. The International Movement for the Ban of Radiofrequency Weapons Controling Human Nervous System had a fairly rosy view of mind control compared to the Project Freedom Network's psycho-electronic weapons. The New World Order, political prisoners and Freemasonic Brotherhood are just icing on the cake.
-- Suggested by Cornelius Tacitus
July 20, 2001: "I Knew I Shoulda Taken That Left Turn at Alamagordo"
At the GFP Bunny Project, they practice transgenic art "with a commitment to respect, nurture, and love the life thus created," which in this case is a glowing green rabbit.
-- From multiple submissions
July 13, 2001: Nothing New Under the SEGA
If you're getting a sense of déjà vu while playing that new video game, there's good reason. The Grand List Of Console Role Playing Game Clichés reminds us that the best plots are the ones you already know, or at least bits and pieces of them.
-- Suggested by Nana Yaw Ofori
July 6, 2001: Just a Little Hint? Pleeease?
They say three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. The Disclosure Project has gone above and beyond the call by listing dozens of stories from UFO eyewitnesses in hopes of getting the government to come clean about aliens. If you've got a congressman, they want your help.
-- Suggested by David Cunnius
June 22, 2001: "Did Not!" "Did Too!"
Every fantastic phenomenon has its skeptics. Now every skeptic has his critic. It's getting to be a shoving match on the Internet, and the bell for the latest round has been rung on PsyZone. Folks like James Randi take it on the chin, and Winston Wu offers his refutation of the scientific method.
-- Suggested by Brett Slocum
June 15, 2001: Which Part of "Be Prepared" Didn't You Understand?
Science is always fun until someone gets irradiated. Dangerous Laboratories is all in favor of combining learning and entertainment, but all it takes is one mad scientist Boy Scout to spoil nuclear materials for the rest of us.
-- Suggested by Sean Dalziel
June 8, 2001: The Goddess Must Have Seen Him Coming First
Is it Discordian wisdom hidden in poetry, or the ravings of a disenfranchised artist? Only his webmaster knows for sure.
-- Suggested by Jonathan Vasque
June 1, 2001: We Shall Eat them in the Kitchen, in the Dining Room
The indignities suffered by marshmallow peeps in the pursuit of scientific truth were but a prelude to war. Now the hardy little candies are getting their marching orders in Peep War, a tabletop game that pits the glutinous chicks and their jellified soldiery in no-holds-barred battle. History is written by the winners, and the losers get eaten.
-- Suggested by Rus Hall
May 25, 2001: What is Behind You is Vitally Important
Whether you're a fan of dangerous cop shows or you're just planning on having friends back home videotape your flight from justice, PursuitWatch offers you quick access to car chases across the nation. Sign up and they'll page you any time there's a televised pursuit in your area.
-- Andy
May 18, 2001: You Must be This Tall to Hunt Bigfoot
Feeling the South was getting short shrift, the Gulf Coast Bigfoot Research Organization was formed to point the Bigfoot-hunting spotlight at the southern states.
The GCBRO has databases of sightings for the 50 states, Australia, and the rest of the world. They also have a site dedicated to weird stuff.
-- Suggested by Josh Marquart
May 11, 2001: For the Junior Harper's Set
Recalling the finer publications of yesteryear, Timothy McSweeney's reminds us of a time when bands played in gazebos and kids rolled hoops down the streets. It then delves into advertising for the Great Old Ones and regales us with tales from Traig & McGrath, shut-in detectives.
-- Suggested by Richard Guy
May 4, 2001: There's a Sucker Sold Every Minute
Modern medicine is all about speed: the faster you act, the better the patient's chances are. It should come as no small relief, then, that Leeches U.S.A. Ltd. can FedEx leeches to you. Housing is available, should your long-term needs demand a leech mobile home. Be aware: Users should be professionals, and the leeches are non-returnable.
-- Suggested by Steve Jackson
April 27, 2001: Arlington is So Last Century
Grave matters seem to weigh heavily on Richard A. Slezak's mind. Oh, sure, you can find Spooky Concentration and the Elizabethan Curse Generator at The Minotaur's Labyrinth, but the big thrust seems to be graves and graveyards. See how your local boneyard stacks up against the best the City by the Bay has to offer.
-- Suggested by Paul Dickey
April 20, 2001: Falsehoods Are Job One
If the job market dries up, don't blame the president, blame the kindly, soft-spoken creatures that inhabit Bogus Bay. They're the ones locking up all the good jobs with hysterically less-than-plausible résumés.
-- Suggested by Don Magor
April 13, 2001: Oh, You'll Lose Weight, All Right
David George Gordon's Website has some curious literary offerings. He'll help you get rid of slugs and other pests. How? Well...How hungry are you?
-- Suggested by Rob Knight
April 6, 2001: The Real Thing Wouldn't Fit in Your Mailbox
If you have a yen to collect the treasures of history, no time-tripping is necessary. You can stay in your own era and have Design Toscano produce a wide variety of falcon statues, to-scale King Tut sarcophagi, and replicas of Stonehenge as it appeared thousands of years ago. And if their talent pool has that kind of information, you can be sure delivery will be no problem.
-- Suggested by Rus Hall
March 30, 2001: Take Two Bytes and Call Me in the Morning
Psionic healing is a mouse-click away. US Psionics is offering the healing power of their Cybershaman computer program at discount prices, and the science of radionics is just one of their ongoing research projects.
-- Suggested by Dwellyn Myrddin
March 23, 2001: William Christopher Holley, Super-Genius
The recession must have already hit if Mr. Holley can't find a decent job. If your beleaguered tech start-up or ailing dot-com needs a pick-me-up, go to his Genius site. Or if you need astrological advice. Or Las Vegas odds.
-- Suggested by Indiana Banzai
March 16, 2001: Who Do These Guys Climb Over on the Way to the Top?
FEMA's secret plan for government control. Interview with the alien. Experimental everything. All their information is Above Top Secret, but much of it may be over your head anyway.
-- Suggested by Scott Case
March 9, 2001: Let's See You Cross the Velvet Rope
If your travel agent tells you she's sending you to a vacation hot spot, take heed: Although no one is likely to steal the exhibits from any of the sites listed at The Bureau of Atomic Tourism, the displays may be the only things feeling safe.
-- Suggested by Murray M. Lee
March 2, 2001: Building Elf-Esteem
If you feel somehow out of place in this world, you aren't alone. You may just be Otherkin's kind of people. Your odds are pretty good, in fact, given the variety of people with whom they feel kinship. Fairies, angels and more unite, and sign the guestbook.
-- Suggested by John Crimmins
February 23, 2001: Buy the Lies of the Silvery Moon
Looks like NASA has been breaking a few laws, starting with those of physics. You've heard the rumors about our falsified trips to the moon, but you also know in this day and age you can't expect people to see past a conspiracy's lies without the video companion. James A. Collier's Was it Only a Paper Moon? thrusts the lunar sham into the cold light of day.
-- Suggested by Steve Jackson
February 16, 2001: Barking to Prozac
Pet feeling down? Not sure what's troubling him? Talk to Georgina Cyr, Animal Communicator -- or rather, have her talk to you pooch, cat or turtle. Find out how life is treating your best friend, and if it's not good news, she'll tell you how you can change it for the better.
-- Suggested by Ron Ullrich
February 9, 2001: Satan Has Sold Out
He's so plastic. A tool. At soulXchange, they still know the value of a dolla...er, a soul. Buy 'em, trade 'em and sell 'em. There are no fees, which is a good thing. After all, some people don't have $8 a trade, but everyone's got a soul.
-- Suggested by Genevieve Cogman
February 2, 2001: Badgers? We Don't Need No...Oh, Never Mind
But if you do need them, It's a Badger! seems to have quite a surplus.
-- Suggested by Chris Badger
January 26, 2001: Coming for Christmas 2001
You can develop all the IR goggles and robot warriors and nanotech viruses you want, but the future of warfare is clear: throwing 2" x 4"s into your enemy's steel butt.
-- Suggested by Diane Donaldson
January 19, 2001: Just Forward Their Mail - You'll Sleep Better
According to Maryland's SunSpot online news service, real-estate juggling has resulted in some astronomers getting a former National Security Agency spy station in the forests of North Carolina. The need for an isolated bowl-shaped valley was peculiar to both groups; the high-security doors, sophisticated plumbing, enormous radar dishes and enough power to keep Disneyland alight were just a bonus. As for how the new owners discovered their windows were bulletproof . . .
-- Suggested by Beth McCoy
January 12, 2001: If It's Not One Thing, It's Another
The Earth is hollow; why else wouldn't it weigh more? There's a man with cosmic top secret clearance who's about three dozen levels too low on the totem pole to give you the full truth about aliens. And the Pyramids? Forget them. The real secret lies in a tunnel under the Sphinx, starship designs no doubt carved on the walls. No matter how strange you think it gets, you just don't get it. Think About It.
-- Suggested by Jason Sharp
January 5, 2001: The Nerve of Some People
Everybody has a nervous system, and it's getting more nervous with every breakthrough. Soon the governments of the world will be involved in a battle of wills using entire populations unless we join the International Movement for the Ban of Radio Frequency Weapons Controlling the Human Nervous System. It's a mouthful, sure, but it'll be a brainful if we don't stop it in its tracks.How does this organization intend to put out the word about this dangerous new device? They're going to build one - and use it.
-- Suggested by Keith Johnson
December 22, 2000: Where the Action Is
Spotting a flying saucer is all about playing the odds. Does that mean you have to wait around in the desert, a slave to Area 51's weird magnetism? Not at all. The National UFO Reporting Center can tell you who's seen what, where they saw it and what it looked like. Gear your voyeurism to your tastes. Then again, if you like the desert, you can play the odds there, too: Las Vegas has had over 40 sightings of its own.
-- Suggested by Brett Slocum
December 15, 2000: Send Christmas Coconuts Early
And skis and teeth and bottled water. If you're not sure whether your more unusual gift choices will get there in time - or at all - check out HotAIR's Postal Experiments. Jeff Van Bueren has sent it all for you, and listed the surprisingly competent results.
-- Suggested by Josh Marquart
December 8, 2000: Are We Done or Not?
Am I Hot or Not? gets 7 million hits a day; me-toos could hardly be far behind. You can weigh in on its little brother Am I Hot?, look over the black sheep of the family at Am I Goth or Not?, or decide which father of our country you would like the best at Brunching Shuttlecocks' Am I President or Not?Eh, you've probably got a better shot with one of your kissing cousins at the illuminated Monkey Hot or Not?
-- Suggested by Brandon
December 1, 2000: Far Out. No, Farther.
Silicon Graphics, Inc. recalls a little of the chaos of the 60s with lavarand, a groovy system for plucking random numbers out of lava lamps.
-- Suggested by Wayne West
November 24, 2000: Cold Turkey
Adbusters takes everything sitting down. The only use they see for shopping centers is mall walking; beyond that, they want consumers to think twice about their spending habits. Consumerism, they claim, is out of control, and a cornerstone of their non-financial empire is the annual post-Thanksgiving Buy Nothing Day, aimed at the busiest shopping day of the year.
-- Suggested by Clark D. Rodeffer
November 17, 2000: If Only We Had Known
The Nobody for President
site would have come in handy this year. Consider it a cautionary tale you
can use next election, assuming we finish this one.
-- Suggested by Curtis
November 10, 2000: They're Watching Me, and I Have the Receipt to Prove It
What do you do if you can't afford the designer fragrance? You buy
generic, of course. Since aliens don't have time to abduct everyone,
anyone looking for a close encounter with EBEs need go no further than Alien Abductions Incorporated.
They'll work with you to instill the baffling and frightening fragments of
memory, and for a modest upgrade they'll provide claustrophobic
surveillance, alien abduction encounter groups, a lecture circuit...the sky's the limit, but now you're on the
outside looking in.
-- Suggested by Timothy McDowell
November 3, 2000: IllSotW: Kind of Puts that Dental Appointment in Perspective
If you haven't started your Christmas shopping, here's depressing news:
J.R. Mooneyham's essay, "An Illustrated
Speculative Timeline of Technology and Social Change for the Next One
Thousand Years," has our future history figured out to the tune of
quadruple digits. He admits he's just guessing at some of this stuff, but
considering NASA doesn't know where its next jar of Tang is coming from,
you've got to admire the man's ambition.
-- Suggested by Joe Chaparro
October 27, 2000: And There, On the Door, Was a Hook
Or a choking Doberman. Or something.Pick your urban legend. All your favorites (and a few you may not have heard) are here. Sex, drugs and Disney flicks rule at The San Fernando Valley Folklore Society's Urban Legends Reference Pages. Fun, queer, creepy, spooky, and they have your Hallowe'en horrors covered. Unlike other sites of its kind, it's even clean and easy to read. Don't believe it? Hey, that's how these things get started.
-- Suggested by Clangador
October 20, 2000: If You Don't Like the Way I Drive, Stay Off the Lawn
We'll raise a lesser species up to our level yet; we've already taught the
insect kingdom road rage. The MyoElectric Locust - M.E.L.
- is ready to take it to the streets. From there, can SUVs be far
behind?
-- Suggested by Charles Collin
October 13, 2000: Enlightenment, Line 3
All the secrets of the universe have been laid bare. It just happens to
sound a lot like a Crazy Drunk
Guy. Most of it is about Jack Webb, but you probably figured that much
out on your own.
-- Suggested by McRey B. Moyer
October 6, 2000: Stegosaur For Sale
A few weeks ago, I wrote about Henry Lim's Lego Stegosaurus sculpture. Well, he's put it on Ebay. As I write, the price is at $1,000, with no bids yet -- and he estimates shipping at $1,500 or so -- but still, when you consider what this would be worth as a museum exhibit . . .
I am already violently jealous of the eventual buyer.
September 29, 2000: The Ick Files
A little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of learning about
Cthulhu and company is downright hysterical. The file cabinets are filled
to overflowing with dossiers, gossip and green ooze at S-P-O-N-G-E. They'll only tell you
what you need to know if you join, and by then it's too late.
-- Suggested by Mr. Hanzan
September 22, 2000: Discounts for Patrons Over 30
Applied Digital Solutions is watching your back -- and holding your hand.
Their Digital Angel may soon be
implanted in citizens everywhere, carrying all their vital information in
a whole new kind of "palm" pilot. Imagine: Your health, your safety, your
finances, all in the palm of your hand. And you in the palm of
theirs...-- Suggested by Robert Schulz September 15, 2000: The Second Coming...and the Third...and the Fourth...
In this day and age of cloning, Judgment Day is tailor-made. Since Christ
was so careless with his body and blood, The Second Coming Project is taking
the DNA wherever they can find it and cranking out a savior. You can
contribute - or find out more about the Biblical basis for these plans -
at their site.
-- From multiple submissions
September 8, 2000: Dignity for Sale, Going Cheap
On-line auctions are all the rage, and disturbingauctions has all
the outrage. No reasonable offer is refused for some of the travesties
listed on this site, mostly because any offer is generous indeed.
-- Suggested by Rev. Karl Musser
August 18, 2000: Silent, Deadly, Delicious
You've gotta respect people that will kill or die to get your order to
you. Ninja Burger,
the on-line restaurant, guarantees on-time delivery. You know what you
want, but they know where you live.
-- Suggested by Andy Fix
Friday August 11, 2000: Nyah-Nyah, Can't Abduct Me!
A cosmic game of one-upmanship is raging between humans and aliens, but who's zeroing in on whom? The aliens know where to find their abductees, so Stop Alien Abductions tells you how to build a thought-screen helmet to block their telepathic control. How do the aliens fight back? They steal our helmets.
-- Suggested by Charles Oines
Friday August 4, 2000: The Secret Toy Surprise Inside
Hold on, Charlie Brown, don't throw that rock out just yet. Crack that bad boy open...you may have one of those genuine Out of Place Artifacts. People find the oddest things set in stone. Is this the work of time travelers? Phasing technology? Or perhaps some practical joker just thinks rocks are too dull.
-- Suggested by Rus Hall
Friday July 28, 2000: Hot Tracks from the Cold War
And the hits just keep on coming! Unexplained tones, strange voices and enigmatic messages flood "numbers stations," radio signals anyone with a shortwave can pick up. Once they were the purview of spies and moles. So why, now that the Cold War is frozen solid, do these rogue transmissions continue unregulated? The Conet Project is only the tip of the iceberg; sister site The Numbers Game has the audio evidence.
-- Suggested by Ted Skirvin
Friday July 21, 2000: "Dinner, Will Robinson!"
They've built a robot that eats meat.Terrific.
-- Suggested by Owen Kerr
Friday July 14, 2000: Just What's in Those Scooby Snacks?
Scooby-Doo's quarry turns out to be yet another mundane con artist...or is it a double-blind? Is it harmless but hokey animation, or is our favorite Great Dane an occult demagogue?
-- Suggested by Bill Hamilton
Friday July 7, 2000: ...Does Whatever a Goat Can?
Cool though it would be to see New York City protected by a web-slinging goat, Nexia Biotechnologies didn't have crime prevention in mind when they stuck spider genes in a pair of goats. The goats, so the story goes, will now produce web silk in their milk for ballistic and medicinal purposes.Click here for the ABC article.
-- Suggested by John Macek
Friday June 30, 2000: The Best Site Since Sliced Bread
Sanitize your egg or the bird that laid it. Drink from your hairbrush or preserve your dead aunt. If modern technology doesn't meet your needs, don't get bent out of shape (the nose shaper will fix that up), go retro and try one of the...unique...inventions for which people have gotten patents. Patent attorney Michael J. Colitz, Jr. trots out some of the strangest innovations on the Wacky Patent of the Month site. He deserves a pat on the back...and the site has a device for that, too.
-- Andy
Friday June 23, 2000: The Toughest S.O.B. in the Valley
Beware, for the Nephilim still walk the Earth. The Bible says they're giant fallen angels, and if The Nephilim Resistance Task Force has its way, they're going to fall again - hard. If the prayer doesn't get you, the HK-91 will.
-- Suggested by Larry Hassenpflug
Friday June 16, 2000: You've Stayed Your Hour
If you hate out-of-town guests, Instructions for Meeting Time Travellers is probably just a recipe for disaster. For anyone fascinated by the possibility of being called upon by citizens of some future society, it's an open invitation to time travelers to come say "Howdy." Fish and visitors stink after three days, but these folks can leave before they arrive.
-- Suggested by Joe Kisenwether
Friday June 9, 2000: First Bank of Zuul
Early withdrawal? Don't even think about it.It may not be non-Euclidean geometry - it may not even be a bank - but whatever brisk business they do here, you don't want any part of it. These images from author and journalist James Lileks' yearly trip to New York City have caught...well, angels in the architecture aren't usually that creepy.
-- Suggested by Stefan Jones
Friday June 2, 2000: One Jerk on One End of the Line...
If fishing is dull, it's not your bait...it's your quarry. Spice up outdoor recreation by going after a target with a sporting chance. Squirrel fishing pits you against - what else? - the wily squirrel. There may come a day when this becomes an organized sport, and it looks like Austin squirrels are leading the pack against Harvard University.
-- Suggested by Art Fish
Friday May 26, 2000: "You now face -- the Cobalt Hillbilly!"
Or something disturbingly like it, but don't worry, the Happy Flower Chimp will end his reign of terror. Lee's (Useless) Super-Hero Generator provides the world with an endless supply of super-
beings on both sides of the law. A few choices randomly determine your weapons, powers and equipment. Make single supers or whole teams. The only question: is it the heroes or the generator that's useless? The Cobalt Hillbilly certainly strikes fear in our hearts ...
-- Suggested by Dave Walsh
Friday May 19, 2000: Meating of the Minds
Science marches on, right into the neighbor's yard where the stinkymeat team has left their science project: a plate of raw meat. Like a traffic accident from which you cannot turn away, the stinkymeat scientists provide a day-by-day account of the slow disintegration of the meat and their gag reflexes. Scarier than the Blair Witch Project, with pictures not for the faint of heart.
-- Suggested by Pete Knight
Friday May 12, 2000: How to Succeed in Business
Heavy security is the price of doing business these days. Joining ICC Commercial Crime Services offers a number of perks and allays a multitude of fears. Training, counterfeit detection and cyber-protection are just a few of the many tools it uses to smooth your road to riches.And for a really uneasy night's sleep, check out its weekly piracy report before going boating.
-- Suggested by John Macek
Friday May 5, 2000: Five Minutes, Mr. Noone
Today's the day, so if you're reading this while sitting hip-deep in water, you know Richard W. Noone knew what he was talking about in his famous book 5/5/2000 - Ice: The Ultimate Disaster. Since the mid-80s, Noone has been warning us of the planetary alignment that will destroy the polar ice caps. You've had 14 years worth of heads-up, and it's time to pay the piper.
-- Andy
Friday April 28, 2000: Shakespeare Done Right
Infinite monkeys never shine so bright as when they're hard at work on a good sonnet. SIMI - the Search for Intelligent Monkeys on the Internet - is underway, setting infinite (well, 100) simian Shakespeares to write at random with every click of your mouse. If you get something worthwhile, let the webmasters know.
-- Suggested by Michael Dinsmore
Friday April 21, 2000: And Here John Steinbeck Thought He'd Get Away With It
The Alcatraz breakout. The Kennedys. Mobsters. God bless the Freedom of Information Act of 1966, because the FBI is spilling its electronic guts. After 35 years of requests they've created a FAQ, a "reading room
" full of their most popular tidbits. Be careful what you ask for -- the FOIA just might get it for you.
-- Suggested by Chris Goodwin
Friday April 14, 2000: It Was Fun While It Lasted
All good things must come to an end. But hey, we'll still see each other, right?
-- Suggested by Robert Schulz
Friday April 7, 2000: What a Piece of Work is Man
But an upgrade wouldn't kill you. DARPA is taking proposals for Exoskeletons for Human Performance Augmentation. The Department of Defense wants soldiers to run faster, jump higher and work longer, and if you know anything about haptic interfaces, your Uncle Sam needs you.
-- Suggested by Kyle Bieneman
Friday March 31, 2000: A Site For Unlawful Cyborg Killbots
The surreptitious overthrow of mankind by cyborg duplicates is further advanced than we suspected. The AIEEE engine at Brunching Shuttlecocks will help you determine who the robots among us are. Another illuminated triumph -- we think the Synthetic Technician Engineered for Violence and Exploration will be pleased.
-- Suggested by Ciaran Conliffe
Friday March 24, 2000: The Prince Albert Gag will be Missed
Will Hertes seems to have a lot of time on his hands, time he fills up by writing twisted prank letters to corporations and notable individuals across America. Then he takes their unsuspecting responses and kills some more time posting them on the Internet for amusement. His or ours? Who can say?
-- Suggested by John Haire
Friday March 17, 2000: Anti-Christ Antivirus
Christianity Meme maintains the religion is a mental disease, spread by proselytization. Is there a cure? Find out before you become a heavenly host.
-- Suggested by Don Baker
Friday March 10, 2000: International Cuisine
Step aside, Jimmy Carter. Doing its part for global understanding is the I Can Eat Glass Project. They're dedicated to collecting the phrase "I can eat glass, it doesn't hurt me" in as many languages as possible.
-- Suggested by Scott Nickell
Friday March 3, 2000: Pleasant Dreams
This is just wrong.
-- Suggested by Joe Littrell
Friday February 25, 2000: Bill's Buying...for the Next 221,917.81 Centuries
Hard to wrap your head around, isn't it? The Bill Gates Net Worth Page puts the billionaire's finances in perspective in a variety of amusing and sometimes frightening ways. How much can he spend a second? How much Evander Holyfield can he eat? And what is he worth right now?
-- Suggested by Ross Jepson
Friday February 18, 2000: Man in Yellow Hat Denies Involvement
Too much attention from grade-schoolers will get to anyone, and when it does, they'll snap. Witness the fate of poor Furious George, a shell of his former self. Help George navigate the country, robbing
banks, hot wiring cars and shooting for the high score as you go.
-- Suggested by Drew Johnson
Friday February 11, 2000: Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me
Remember when they switched calendars and the peasants revolted, demanding to get back their "lost days"? You do? Just how old are you?If the rest of us want to be part of history, we can sign the petition to end daylight-saving time. Wake up, people. DST kills, and the life you save may be your own.
-- Andy
Friday February 4, 2000: It'll All End in Tears
Been a long day? All hope is gone? Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy some cool merchandise about your alternatives from the pessimistic purveyors at Despair, Inc.
-- Suggested by Robert J. MacDonald
Friday January 28, 2000: Conservation of Conspiracy
When they're all out to get you, your day can fill up fast: changing buses, dodging metal detectors, renting P.O. boxes. Now, for the theorist on the go, intricate plots - all of them - come in this quick, easy-to-digest article from Brunching Shuttlecocks.
-- From multiple submissions
Friday January 14, 2000: It's Very, Very Black
Check out conspiracy.com . . . but don't tell them where you found out about it.
Friday January 7, 2000: Curses, Foiled Again, Eh?
You wouldn't think from looking at all those benign, smiling faces that Canada could field a cutthroat group of spies, and you'd be right. According to All Things Considered, they've been lax of late, letting little things get in the way of the finer points of international espionage.
-- Suggested by John Dunn
Friday December 31, 1999: Give in to Our Marketing, Young Skywalker
You no longer have to accept the lesser of two evils. When one empire clashes with another, it just makes good economic sense to merge the two, and Microsith is your best - some might say only - choice for world domination.
-- Suggested by Joe Hacker
Friday December 24, 1999: Fill in the Blank Has It in for Me
If you're not sure how all the illuminated pieces fit together...well, that's how it's supposed to be. But if your curiosity gets the better of you, enter the pawn in question into the conspire
database and they'll put it in context for you. Just remember, it's as much as your life is worth.
-- Suggested by Timothy Long
Friday December 17, 1999: Paranoia is Always in Season
Huey Freeman, star of The Boondocks, is dreaming of a black ops Christmas. Watch as he slowly puts together the pieces of Santa's conspiracy, starting with the December 6th installment in the Washington Post.
-- Suggested by multiple submitters
Friday December 10, 1999: It's Not Nice to Spam the Secret Masters
We have all of us at one time or another wished all manner of misery on spammers. Leave it to the Grand Overseers to take the cruelest route: public humiliation. The MMF Hall of Humiliation picks apart spam and ridicules the authors mercilessly. They even keep score, the fiends.
-- Suggested by J. Adams
Friday December 3, 1999: ZenMOO
Every so often, someone on the Pyramid MOO complains of all the idling, and accuses us of being a Zen MOO. Well, maybe, but we don't hold a candle to the real Zen MOO. Zen MOO is one of the oldest MOOs online (it officially opened Feb. 14, 1993), and is still going strong. It's obviously an Illuminated sort of place, too. The goal is not to talk or explore, but simply to meditate. Where else can you be rewarded for idling?You can use your favorite MUD client to login to Zen MOO at zenmoo.zennet.com 7777. -- Kira
Friday November 26, 1999: Location, Location, Location
The moon is for sale - parts of it, anyway. The same holds true for Mars, Venus and some other less fashionable properties. How? Loopholes, just like here on Earth. The UN blew it, and now you can clean up. The Lunar Embassy tells you how to do it right. All the procedures and legalese are spelled out for you; stake your claim now.
-- Suggested by Mark A. Schmidt
Friday November 19, 1999: Ed Sullivan Would Have Loved It
Remember robofly, the microbot being developed at Berkeley? Cornell University reports that the next logical step has already been taken: they have a microguitar the size of a red blood cell. Now if we can engineer tiny beetles for those axes...
-- Suggested by Adam vanLangenberg
Friday November 12, 1999: An Ounce of Vacation, a Compound to be Sure
We all know the Y2K bug is only end-of-the-millenium jitters, but just in case...Y2k Paradise guarantees you, your friends and your family carefree living for the first three months of the year 2000. Scenic New Zealand, site of the inaugural sunrise of the new millenium, offers all the amenities and none of the hassles of vying for the last container of water at the supermarket. And how much does security cost? Let's talk.
-- Suggested by Micah Jackson
Friday October 29, 1999: Here It Comes to Save the Day!
How are we supposed to build a better mousetrap when science keeps making better mice? Recent experiments by scientists are making smarter rodents than ever before, as this news story will attest. Eventually, they may design animals that are too smart to let us experiment on them.
-- Suggested by Glenn Crawford
Friday October 22, 1999: Traffic is Hell Around the Holidays
The next time a friend complains about driving you to the airport, remind them how the Greys must feel. They have almost a dozen bases on Earth and that many more on Mars and the Moon. Alien Bases on Earth saves Rand McNally the trouble of translating Andromedan maps by letting us know where the bases are, what they do and how many slaves the aliens can count on for a ride.
-- Suggested by Scott D. Raun
Friday October 15, 1999: This Time, Australia Will Be Ready for It
No more getting smacked over the head by unexpected space debris. J-Track checks to see what's in orbit and where it is. A good way to know when the sky is falling. If there's an Internet left at New Year's, this will be one busy site.
-- Suggested by Rob Knight
Friday October 8, 1999: Another Man's Moccasins
They used to say the most interesting trip you can take is inside your own mind. That's no longer strictly true. Here's a new kind of vacation: JM Incorporated has exclusive access to a portal allowing them to place your consciousness into another man's -- or woman's -- body. See what they see, hear what they hear. But like any vacation, you should make your reservations today. Hosts are subject to availability, and it's first come, first served.
-- Andy
Friday October 1, 1999: You Can't Handle the Tooth!
The days of the Red Scare are over, so anyone who wants to claim there's something suspicious in our water is going to have to put their money where our mouths are. John N. Maguire III does that in his essay, Fluoride's Effect on Your Brain. Maguire examines in depth the uses, the myths and what the fluoridators are really trying to do.
-- Suggested by Bud Kourik
Friday September 24, 1999: There Are More Things on the Internet, Horatio
Sharks can't get skin cancer, but they can help us fight disease. Flies will sleep upside down so soundly you can vacuum them up, and we still don't know how they fly. Spheres of stone, balls of dark matter, economics, religion and statistics. Is all of t
his weird but true or just truly weird? Find out for yourself.
-- Suggested by J.T. Benton
Friday September 17, 1999: Batteries Not Included
It's all here: electronics, lasers, bionics, time travel and pyrotechnics. There's no branch of science Future Horizons won't explore, expand or exploit. Order a working model or get the plans and build your own. Whether you intend to enter the next millenium with a bang, a hum or a high-pitched whine, they're on all the cutting edges.
-- Suggested by Chaad
Friday September 10, 1999: The Toxicology Report Is Pending
What do you do when your Furby dies? Perform an autopsy, of course. The Furby Autopsy takes you step by step through a dissection of the popular animated plush toy, and includes several photos of the grim process.
-- Suggested by Stefan Jones
Friday September 3, 1999: Back to Basics
Nothing like the tried and true to stoke the fires of paranoia. The Universal Conspiracy Against Everything neatly outlines the deceitful depths to which the Secret Masters' plot descends. The links alone
will keep your browser humming for hours.
-- Suggested by Bob Schroeck
Friday August 27, 1999: He Snips, He Scores!
You've played it on playgrounds, you've played it to decide on movies, restaurants and video rentals. Now here's your chance to prove you've really got what it takes: go pro! The World Rock Paper Scissors League wants you. Play anywhere, watch your ranking go up, learn new battlecries. And don't forget to brush up on your skills and etiquette with the Official Rock Paper Scissors Strategy Guide, complete with computer opponent.
-- Suggested by Chris Murphy and David Edelstein
Friday August 20, 1999: Live from Downtown Dallas: Dealey Plaza Cam
The Sixth Floor Museum, located in the former Texas School Book Depository in Dallas, Texas, has sealed off Lee Harvey Oswald's sniper's perch behind a wall of glass. You can still see the view and draw your own conclusions about the assassination through the Dealey Plaza Cam, a live view from behind the partition. The museum itself is available for tours, research and private functions.
-- Suggested by Craig Schulthess
Friday August 20, 1999: Hampsterdance
They're hampsters, and they do dance.
-- Suggested by Jayson Howell and Rob Knight
Friday August 13, 1999: "They Say Money Talks...
"...all mine ever says is goodbye." Well, Red Skelton didn't have Where's George?, a site that tracks your currency as it wanders across the United States. Now your cash writes home. Sign up, and 17,000 fellow money monitors will let you know if and when they've spotted one of your bills. Find out where they go and how fast they get there.
-- Suggested by Nathan Kottke
Friday August 6, 1999: People Are Dying to Get On-Line
Do you know where Mata Hari is buried? How about Yuri Gagarin's cause of death? And what's inscribed on H.P. Lovecraft's headstone? Find A Grave will tell you. Whether you're into grave rubbings or grave robbing, a
fan of history or Harry Keogh, Find A Grave is a fascinating tour of the resting places of the famous and infamous worldwide.The site is plenty searchable, and most entries have graphics of the markers and memorials.
-- Suggested by Robert Schulz
Friday July 30, 1999: The Wave of the Future
Attention, would-be time travelers: Steven L. Gibbs is offering time machines at cut-rate prices. $360 puts you in the driver's seat of a Hyper-Dimensional Resonator, allowing you to mentally travel through time. (You can use it for physical travel only in areas where UFOs have been spotted.)If the price is a little steep, you can score a number of books from the order form that will let you build your own time machines, time portals and Tesla-coil conversions. You can even learn the secrets of the Philadelphia Experiment, no naval destroyer required.
-- Suggested by Reid Simmons
Friday July 23, 1999: The Dog...er, Reptile Days of August
The royal family's ills are just beginning, it seems, and the results will drag us all down with them. According to Arizona Wilder, former human sacrificer, it's all prelude to August 11-13, when we will see the gates of hell opened at Giza. On the Day of Hecate, negative energy will infuse the world's ley lines, our collective third eyes will be closed, and...well, read about it for yourself at David Icke's site.Although the news is bleak (and only gets worse six months from now), Icke says we can fight back, and to stop it all you need is love.
-- Suggested by Eduardo Cavazos
Friday July 16, 1999: When "Mostly Harmless" Just Won't Do
This ambitious site is trying to make Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy a reality. There are limits, of course - book-sized computers that can hold it all don't exist yet, and most of the entries will be pretty Earthcentric - but we do have towels, and you can even take part in the Guide's development. They take submissions for any subject, large or small, you care to pontificate on.
-- Suggested by Denis Sarrazin
Friday July 9, 1999: The miracles of modern technology.
Whatever your involvement with computers, we all rely on the same tool when working with this temperamental medium: prayer. If you've ever lost a file, the Daioh Temple of Daioh Mountain can sympathize.
As technology increases and information of all kinds becomes ever more digital, they have decided to hold an annual Buddhist prayer for lost information.The site also offers insights into Buddhist philosophy and is available in Japanese.
-- Suggested by Jeff Wilson
Friday July 2, 1999: Fear of public speaking has paralysed the economy of Ghana.
That's a joke, of course. Actually, it's a bald-faced lie, one of many to be ferreted out and collected in Dave's Web of Lies. The Internet is full of hoaxes and scams, and this site tries to nail them all. They make every effort to ensure not one word they post has a shred of truth to it, but everyone makes mistakes, so feel free to submit your own fables, falsehoods and prevarications.-- Suggested by Mark Bassett Friday June 25, 1999: If you can't baffle them with brilliance...
...befuddle them with the Postmodernism Generator. Andrew C. Bulhak's program uses the Dada Engine to randomly create an essay so confusing and oblique, even the most posturing professor will assume you're a genius.
-- Suggested by Patrick Anders and Phil Anderson
Friday June 18, 1999: Reply fnordy, ask again later
If you've ever wondered how the Illuminated Site of the Week is selected, shake up Erik Dewey's site and gaze through the smoky bottom. Our methods are similar, though not quite as scientific.
-- Suggested by Bud Kourik
Friday June 11, 1999: Phasers on fund-raising, Mr. Spock
American Inventor Eric Herr may have found his backer for an honest-to-goodness phaser in Britain's Ministry of Defense. The ministry wants to issue it to police
and peacekeeping forces. The freeze ray, as they are calling it, would incapacitate criminals and rioters at 100 meters without injury by paralyzing the voluntary muscles. It's expected to cost $500,000 to make his patent prototype a reality. Any takers?
-- Suggested by Kira
Friday June 4, 1999: Illumismurfed Site of the Smurf
Their little blue faces have haunted your dreams since you were a tyke.
The wounds may have faded, but the scars are all over your browser when
you plug a URL into The Incredible
Smurfalizer. The diabolical Smurfalizer alters that page so it mimicks
the Smurfs' infuriating speech patterns.Obviously a Gnomish plot. Fnsmurf. -- Suggested by Anders Gabrielsson
(And see the Rinkworks site
for several more of these filters.)
Friday May 28, 1999: Star Wars in ASCII-mation
If you're tired of standing in line for The Phantom Menace, why not stay
home and enjoy the original? There's nothing like a classic, especially
when it's rendered in stunning
ASCII-Mation! Requires Java 1.1 (hint for Mac 8.0+ users: use the
Apple Applet runner).
-- Suggested by Anthony Salter
Friday May 21, 1999:
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