Funny: it says 'Vaputech' on the crate, but it doesn't
really seem all that bad. It isn't even smoking.
The Skates themselves look like nothing more than
somewhat large boots. When put on, the user can feel
a toggle switch in the left boot: push on it, and the
soles of the boots smoothly peel back to reveal a
silvery material. Experimentation will reveal that
this material is completely frictionless, thus
allowing the wearer to glide over any solid surface as
if it were ice. Toggling the switch will cause the
lining to retract, allowing normal movement.
Now, this would be the point where an experienced
entity might wince, but it quickly becomes clear that
the activated boots are not a waiting trap. There's
some kind of sophisticated stabilization going on
around here: it's almost literally impossible to fall
down while wearing them. In fact, someone could surf
down a narrow banister while wearing them, with nary a
wobble. That's really ... odd, considering the
source.
Wait a second: the boots' linings have retracted back,
and won't pop out again. What? No! It can't be!
There's a ... there's a manual. This has got to be
some sort of captured Revelations and Development
equipment.
Well, now: apparently it is (the basic design, at
least). It turns out that the boots are powered by
the (perfectly safe and non-radioactive) backpack also
found in the crate. They go too far away from the
power source and they shut down automatically. Seems
reasonable. Looks like the battery has enough juice
for a few more centuries of use... hmm. What are
those nozzles for?
Ah. Clever: they're exhaust pipes. According to the
schematic, the backpack also contains possibly the
most powered propellers on the corporeal plane: when
fired up, this baby will provide clean and
nonpolluting thrust sufficient to propel the average
entity at a speed of up to 125 mph. Neat, but what
about ... oh, there's the helmet. Goggles, too. And,
my God, yes, heavy gloves - hmm, they seem to direct
the thrust of the exhaust - and knee pads. Vapula
must have done nothing to this design.
Better read the manual all the way through, first,
just to make sure that there aren't any little
surprises ... that's IT? The only problem with this
thing is that it, when active, temporarily bollixes up
'inherent and learned celestial abilities'? That is a
bit of a problem - and odd, considering that this
thing doesn't seem to be an artifact at all. Must be
a problem with the power source. Well, increased
difficulty in using Songs or a resonance isn't so bad
- oh, wait, the manual says not to bother with trying
to take celestial form while this thing is buckled on.
Damn: that crimps things a bit. Still, with one of
these babies you could go almost as fast as an
Ofanite. That's got to be useful, especially if one
has a human that needs to keep up with the rest of the
group.
One does wonder why it was locked away, though. Of
course, Vapula is insane ... but Sparky isn't, so why
is that his sigil on the lock?
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