It all started, innocuously enough, with the Halls of
Progress. You'd be surprised how often it all starts
with the Halls of Progress, actually: even before the
Archangel of Creation's little walkabout, that
Cathedral was known for producing some very
interesting changes to the social dynamic. Now that
Lightning has been assigned some of the more exuberant
of Eli's Orphans, well...
But we're getting ahead of ourselves. As stated
earlier, the entire thing started with Jean and his
Recreation and Diversion division. They had been
tooling about with...
I detect surprise. I can't really see why: of course
Jean has a division dedicated to the design and
creation of toys. The utility of play in fostering
healthy physical, mental and emotional exercise has
long since been demonstrated to any objective
observer: Jean would be seriously remiss in his duties
if he were to ignore any area where his Word would be
a benefit to either Heaven or the corporeal plane.
Besides, objectively speaking, it is much more
sensible to not permit Vapula to do all the work in
this field, no? Now, if I may continue...
Thank you. As I was saying, Jean's Recreation and
Diversion division had come up with what they thought
would be a killer application. Using a couple of
scientific laws that humanity should discover about
54.576 years from now, one particular team had
developed a new type of ground-effect vehicle.
Utterly silent, capable of approximately 800 mph,
height ceiling of about a mile and a half ... and
utterly disdainful of anything so pedestrian as
'inertia'. These things were fun - and, better, safe
(a side effect of the inertialess drive).
Needless to say, said team had made up a few of them
to play with. Now, considering the odd physical laws
in Heaven, they could do this without ever leaving the
Halls of Progress: Jean's got one open area 'inside'
that's roughly the size, of well, Delaware. Cubed.
Perfectly secure, right? Alas, there's a rule: never
wave a personal vehicle capable of breaking Mach 1 in
front of a Servitor of Creation's nose. Or in front
of a Servitor of the Wind, actually. Now that I think
about it, don't do that to any Ofanite, either.
And, if you've done the above to an Ofanite of
Creation IST the Wind, you might as well just hand
over the keys and be done with it.
The Breakout was a scandal to the jaybirds: Jean
doesn't really mind when his Servitors occasionally
hoist a few beers from time to time, but sneaking in
three kegs is strictly forbidden. Considering that
said kegs made the idea of taking a fleet of
supersonic Inertia Screamers and buzzing the Seraphim
Council chambers seem a really cool idea, this is
probably wise. Nobody got hurt, of course: this is
Heaven. Still, the embarrassment to Lightning was
severe ... especially when Jean couldn't confiscate
all of the Screamers in time. Not all of Eli's
Orphans work for him, you understand.
Yes, I'm afraid so: hundreds of thousands of angels
and blessed souls looked upon these devices, and found
them good. The first homemade Screamers took to the
... well, sky ... barely a week later. Right now,
it's the latest craze.
Interestingly enough, the Powers That Be aren't
actually too upset about this: they've seen it before
(there was one century where you couldn't see the sky
for the flying carpets), and again, this is Heaven.
Nobody's going to get hurt, after all. Besides, the
blessed things only worked on the celestial plane.
The Council simply brushed off the old traffic
regulations from the aforementioned flying carpet
episode and delegated the War Faction to organize the
inevitable drag races and aerial jousts. Everything's
maintaining an even strain.
Now, of course, what Heaven has Hell imitates,
immediately. Vapula, after he finished kicking
himself, started doing his own version of Screamers:
unlike the Other Side, Hell was quite pleased when a
pack of Magpies managed to steal a few. This way,
artificers that weren't incurably insane would
reverse-engineer them. Once they started making their
own (and once both sides started making versions that
would work in the ethereal plane), things started
getting odd.
Bearing in mind that Hell doesn't have any
restrictions against violent activities, it is amazing
how similar Divine and Infernal Screamers are. Both
versions look like an abstract sculpture of a
motorcycle, done in quicksilver and bronze. Up to two
people can comfortably sit on a Screamer (although the
contortions are a bit odd for those with non-humanoid
celestial forms): larger versions are fairly uncommon,
but known. The latest Divine Screamers are faster
(Mach 4-equivalent, as opposed to the Mach 2.5 which
is Hell's current speed record), but Infernal
Screamers are armed and armored. Heaven is
experimenting with a military Screamer for ethereal
use, but it'll be a while before they get the bugs
out.
This affects tactics in the Marches, of course.
Heaven's Screaming Angel Squadrons (Windies,
Laurencians and Michaelines to a celestial) specialize
in quick lightning raids, relying on superior speed
and shock value to disrupt demonic communications and
campaigns. Opposing them is the Just Hell's Brigades
(mostly Baalites and Magpies) who try to force
engagements where their superior firepower and armor
can be most effective. So far, neither side has been
able to seize the initiative: whether this is due to
the fact that neither side has many ethereal-capable
Screamers, or just because that both Beleth and
Blandine are actively opposing increased Screamer
operations in the Marches, is up to the GM.
Divine Screamer - Speed: Mach 4-equivalent (or,
'really bloody fast'). Carrying capacity: 2 angels
with a bunch of really cool hand ranged weapons that
can do ethereal damage. Protection 10, Hits 48: every
8 hits done to the vehicle reduces the Protection by
1. Both types of Screamers regenerate 6 hits per day
on their own, if not completely destroyed. Requires a
Driving roll to operate ... and the normal Driving
skill won't cut it, here.
Infernal Screamer - Speed: Mach 2.5-equivalent (or,
'not quite as fast, but he'll still be able to get a
couple of shots in before you zoom away'). Carrying
capacity: 1 demon with a lot of grenades. Protection
15, Hits 75: see above for ablative properties of
armor and regenerative tendencies. Mounts a Really
Big Gun (Power 12, Accuracy 2, Range line of sight)
that does ethereal damage, and a couple of Rockets
(Power 16, Accuracy -1 [damned Vaputech], Range Line
of Sight) that do celestial damage. Requires a
Driving (Screamer) roll at -2 to operate, -4 if firing
weapons.
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