(I'm probably going to regret posting this...)
To the tune of Weird Al Yankovic's "The Night Santa Went Crazy"
Down in his studio, Wrench was makin' noise
With recording equipment, and some Vapulan toys
When the Old Guy came in, and took a deep breath,
With a Claymore in his hand, and face as grim as Death.
From his boots to his bald spot, he didn't look forgivin'
Seems he'd fin'ly got tired of suffrin' Evil's livin'
Said "I've been decieved, and I'm still not sure why,
"But one thing's for certain. Tonight, you're gonna die!"
The Night the Old Guy Went Crazy,
The Night the Austin Truce fell
Realized he was surrounded by Demons
Thought he'd put a couple dozen in Hell.
The Tokamak's down now
The equipment was shoddy
The magnets couldn't deal
With Vilson's broken body
Nabbed Nikelodemus
Fate's man on the spot
snapped his neck one-handed
and left him to rot
He got Hugo and Lauren
With decapitation
and then scheduled Mackie
for in-vivo cremation
They say that he got Frex's tether to drown
With nuclear help from outside of town!
We're Talkin' 'bout
The Night the Old Guy went crazy
The night the secret came out
Not a word from the Inquisition
On the carnage he was spreading about.
Three-B went down pretty quick
with a knife in his eye
He grabbed Powers Long in her car
Took her ninety full minutes to die!
The House of Pain's burning
And stomachs are churning
The War's tides are turning around! Ratings are great!
If you tuned in too late
There'll be a two-hour special at 8.
Bloody up to his armpits,
he returned for a smoke
And to ponder his future
At the Old Treaty Oak
He'd slain all the Demons
But he still looked vexed
"The Host kept the secret
So I guess they are next!"
Put Tomas in Trauma
And Druiel in Limbo.
He tore out the spine
Of some Bright Lilim bimbo.
At this pace the peace of the following Morn
Will be shattered with a sounding of Gabriel's Horn!
We're talkin' 'bout
The Night the Old Guy went crazy
The night the secret came out
Not a word from the Inquisition
On the carnage he was spreading about.The Night the Old Guy went crazy
The Night the Austin truce fell
Realized he was surrounded by Demons
Thought he'd put a couple dozen in hell.
Thought he'd put a couple dozen in Hell.
Thought he'd put a couple doz...en in Hell.
(We now return you to some semblance of sanity.)
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Elizabeth McCoy <arcangel@prismnet.com>
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