Theorem for Trouble

by: maya @ tcp.co.uk (GR Cogman)

**Flaming Feather**

Hypothesis : UFO sightings are due to Ofanim (I saw the saucer, it was like this wheel of fire!)

 

Deduction : Anybody who saw it has a reasonable chance of higher-than-usual Celestial Forces and/or Perception, to have seen an Ofanite whizzing by.

 

Conclusion (by some Superior or Word-bound who the PCs will be shortly cursing) : These people who go spotting flying saucers would make good Soldier potential, don't you think?

 

Results : Here are your anoraks, here are your binoculars, here are your cameras. Go forth and find good Soldiers, my Servitors, and remember, try to blend into the mortal world...

 

(with thanks to the person who suggested that the Ofanim were UFOs...)

**Flaming Feather**

And then, FromThe Saint of Killers (stofkillers @ earthlink.net)

> Conclusion (by some Superior or Word-bound who the PCs will be shortly cursing) : These people who go spotting flying saucers would make good Soldier potential, don't you think?

Yeah, but... (I hate anyone who starts a rebuttel with 'yeah, but!') ...isn't it the old joke that UFOs are only sighted in 'hick communities'? Imagine those soldiers.

REDNECK WARRIORS OF GOD!

by Garth Ennis

A pair of djinn are creeping around in the dark when some huge pitbulls bear down on 'em.

Cletus: "Yeehaw! Git 'em, Ripper! Rip 'em, Gitter!"
Junior: "Hur. Them dawgs sho' is mean."
Demons screaming for mercy.
Cletus: "We whupped 'dem boys but good."
Junior: "Hur. Let's go drink us some moonshine."
Cletus: "Boy howdy."

Crazy.

Jimbo: "Ah done got my pickup all fixed up by wonna dem oafy-nahts."
Billy Bob: "Dayum bwoy, she done zero ter sixty in six seconds befo', whut now?"
Jimbo: "Ah dunno, I cain't get 'er tuh stawp!"

Or...

Jeff Foxworthy: "If your house is on concrete blocks, you might be a re-"
Hank: "Hey! You dang ol' serv'tor of Kobal! I'm gonna mess you up, bwoy, I tell you whut!"

sok

(To those who are offended, I'm from Kansas, so I've offended myself. I'm actually going to sue myself for defaming myself. I constantly hurt myself, and just don't care. I'm so mean to me.)

**Flaming Feather**

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