These Songs are very much beloved by Soldiers of God.
You see, one of the things that they don't tell you
when you sign up to fight the forces of Hell is that
sometimes you'll never have any time to run errands...
All of these Songs require 1 Essence to perform, have
a permanent duration and cause no extra disturbance.
Cleaners
This Song will press and clean up to CD shirts/pants
or one suit/dress.
Deposit
Marc hands this out as part of the recruitment
process. A successful performance of this Song will
automatically and immediately deposit any amount of
currency (including cashier's checks) into the
performer's bank account. The performer may not use
this Song on any cash that isn't his or hers!
Forms
This Song will accurately fill out CD lb. of
government forms. Tax forms are not affected by this
Song, due to the inherent Diabolical nature of such
items, but Trade provides free accounting services to
Soldiers of God anyway.
A variant of this Song (Renew License) completely
obviates the need to ever visit any Department of
Motor Vehicles, provided that the performer is
deserving of a Drivers License. It cannot be used to
fix tickets.
Access to the Songs of Forms has proven to be a
stellar morale booster among modern Soldiers of God.
Gifts
There are several different versions of this Song:
each must be learned separately. Most Soldiers that
know these Songs know at least two: after all, it
looks awkward if you give the same gift for four
Mother's Days straight.
Some currently known variants are:
Calendar (for the next year: type of calendar up to
the performer, but nothing more risqué than mild
cheesecake allowed);
Chocolate (produces 5 lb. of a reasonable variety of
chocolates, complete with box and bow);
Flowers (produces a bouquet of the performer's
choice);
and Sweaters (color and size up to the performer:
comes with box and bow).
Mail
This Song, when cast on up to 2 lb. of mail, will
immediately transport it to the nearest post office.
By spending an additional point of Essence, the target
mail will be transported so that it will arrive at its
destination on the next business day. Appropriate
postage is still required, or the equivalent in proper
currency: this Song will make change.
A variant of this Song (Pick Up Mail) is also
available: it will deposit the contents of a post
office box in front of the performer. Items too big
for the box may be acquired, at the cost of 1 Essence
for every item retrieved. This Song will sign for the
items.
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